A random book what I do when I update.. really?

Untitled Part 46

Edit: I wrote this in the midst of anger, when I look back at it I was whiny and a little sook but I still stand by my opinion, I don't like her... well it's difficult, how am I supposed to not like the person I've grown up with, I'm conflicted

Anyway, it's a useless chapter and I hope you find common sense and leave my shitty book, or continue because I want more views (T-T) help me

I hate her! I fucking hate her, she's so fucking annoying and selfish and she doesn't give a fuck about anything but her fucking self 

She goes around like she fuckign owns the fucking place, she should've moved out by now but no she wants to fuck around over here at home, making a fucking mess and waiting for us younger siblings to clean up after her

She's a fucking disappointment, to everyone and even though she's my fucking sister, our blood connection will not and does not stop me from wishing she dies, she can fuckign stay at her friends house for the rest of he read life and mine as long as I don't see her again, if I see her I swear I'm going to kill her

She doesn't do fucking anything with her life I don't care if she ends it, I won't be here when she fuckign takes too many pills or when she jumps, I won't be there because she has pushed me away and I'm not fighting because she has pushed me too much, I can't handle it, I don't care if I'm weak and I should change and maybe change her, she's too fuckign far, she's too fucking far inside her ego and her ignorance to realise that I that one little goodness in her life

I've been there for here for 5 years and she hasn't realised, I've put up with her for 13 years, she's hurt me either physically or mentally, she's stopped me from reaching my potential for as long as she could

I stopped singing, I stopped dancing, I stopped being a girl, is topped wearing dresses, I put myself in hoodies and sweatpants and I stopped getting dressed for myself and put on whatever I could to hide my body

She has pushed around our parents, she breaks my father by running away and hurting him with her words but he always over her and no matter how much she hurts him he will never stop loving her while I'm the middle child and the only way to get attention is by my good grades or my crazy attitude while she's the first born and is very important, the rebel kid, my younger brother is the inky son and obviously important

She has abused my mom but she still says, "(name) has gone somewhere, come home" No one gives a fuck about me because I'm not special and because I'm the middle child, the only relation I have with them is our blood and the fact that we live with each other

I don't want to deal with her anymore, I'm too weak to defend myself, if I already have to take shit from my peers I don't have to take shit from her, I don't think I'm mentally able to hang with her anymore

I can't do this, I'm stuck with her for as long as I'm not able to move out of the house, running away is out of my reach because what would I do? If I run away, I cod run to my Aunty's or my grandma's but then I well have to return, if I go to the police I would have to confront my parents, if I just live on th streets but what would I do, I'm too young for a job and too awkward to talk to anyone

If opportunity showed itself, I wouldn't take it because I'm too scared