A random book what I do when I update.. really?

Key virtue.

Patience.

Something I do not have, I do not have the patience to wait for life to give me some friends to hold on to only to life take them away again, I do not have the patience to wait for my anxiety to calm down and carry on, I do not have the patience to wait for happiness to come to me 

But patience isn't how I describe not making friends, not being happy, to me it's called being a coward, I'm a coward because I won't make that big step to improve my state of mind and I'm a coward because I simply don't feel like searching for happiness

I'm a coward because I'm waiting for life to stop fucking with me and start giving me something to hold and to keep without having to cut ties just because there moving away

Why is everyone moving anyway, what's the point? Why would you want to move to a place where you know no one? Everyone's moved because they fuckifn want to and it's not far because I'm not going with them 

Everyone has moved away and it's probabaly because of me, no one wants to be around me, no one wants to be friends with me, simply acquaintances that are stuck with me because I'm forcing them to.

I'm the only one trying to keep in touch, sometimes when people don't reply back, it does fucking hurt, it hurts 

When i send you multiple messages it's because I want to talk to you and you are in the back of my mind, 'when are you going to reply?' And soemtimes I wait for a week before I see you've read it but there is no message back

I'm sorry if I'm annoying, I'm sorry if I'm a burden, im sorry if I'm a nuisance, I'm sorry. but tell me so I don't have to keep doing this 

I'm sorry I'm a coward