A random book what I do when I update.. really?

Myself.

The image of which I behold myself is disgusting. I barely look into mirrors anymore, knowing that I'll always look like the same old fat mess. I can't stand that the only thing I see is everything but me?

I tried to starve myself but it didn't work out, my dad got suspicious, he had watched me eat but it only made me want to throw up. I love my dad and he only wanted me to eat but I couldn't?

I decided to eat again because of my dads face, he knew something was off, and I didn't want him to have to take me to hospital because I was "sick"

I cannot stand the sight of my whole body bouncing when I try to run or jog, the school uniform does nothing to help, my shorts keep falling down and are too short to cover my leg fat and... I always have to have a bigger size shirt.

I now support a size 18 shirt when most girls my age are size 12 or 14.

It's disgusting the image of which I behold myself. My face is equally the same, my nose too fat and my forehead is a 5 head, my hair line is fucked up. My lips are small and my eyes are too small for my face, my hair is crust and its curls are always so messy.

I don't see a future when I'm this fucking ugly and fat.

You what sucks, is that I hurt myself, the lines that trace my wrist. My brother caught me once, saw me with the knife in my hand, cut my wrist. It was only a glimpse but it was enough for him to give me small hints.

I hated that my brother had to think about what I was doing and he had to think it through.

I'm a burden.