Hey Angel | Leighade

Twenty-Two

I screamed for bloody murder, I jumped away from her body, falling off of my chair. The loud beep sound was deafening. Doctors were already rushing and starting CPR. Cold fingers wrapped around my arms and helped me up. The person began to try and drag me away as I kicked, screamed and tried to resist the grip. 

"No! Bring her back!" I yell, trying to fight off the grip that somebody had of me.

"Ma'am calm down please," the nurse said into my ear, tightening her grip on me.

"No! No! Leigh-Anne! Don't you fucking dare die on me!" I screamed, tears were streaming down my face as I clung to the door frame, no wanting to leave. However, the nurse pried me off of the door and she slammed the door shut.

The nurse took me to the other side of the hall and put me carefully in a chair.

Debbie was standing, crying hysterically, staring into the window of the door. My body was weak. I couldn't stand. If I did, I'd probably fall back down and hit my head. There was no strength in my bones.

I stared down the door handle, listening to Debbie's cries and sounds of the doctors and nurses shouting at each other from inside the room. Then the shouting stopped. All the noise stopped. Maybe she was okay.

Relief washed over me as I gained strength to pick myself up and walk next to Debbie. A gasp left my lips as I watched the nurses cover Leigh-Anne up with a white sheet. I pushed the door open with all my strength, making it whack against the wall. All their heads snapped towards me. 

"NO! LEIGH-ANNE! N-O!" I screamed and fell to the ground, hitting my head on the edge of the hospital bed.

"L-Leigh," I gasped, clinging to the side of the bed and cried.

A doctor helped me up and rubbed my back as I regained my balance.

"I'm very sorry for your loss. Let me take you in and I'll fix up that cut and make you some tea," the doctor offered.

"No! You don't understand! I love her. I love her. Make her come back. Please," I screamed at the doctor, his eyes were soft and his lips were formed into a frown. 

"We've done everything we could. We were just too late," his words were soft, the room was so quiet you could hear pin drop.

I didn't want to say anymore words, they just come out as jiberesh or vomit. The male doctor grabbed my arm and helped my walk steadily out of the room where my lifeless girlfriend lay. A doctor was already talking with Debbie and comforting her. I took in a deep breath and let tears fall from my doe shaped eyes. Leigh-Anne was really gone. My jaw shivered as I let out a soft cry.

My legs began to shake, my body was giving up on me. I couldn't stand, my head was spinning. The doctor tightened his grip on me.

"Almost there, sweetheart," he said in a soothing voice.

Tears spilled over my eyes as the same words repeated over and over in my head. It's your fault. It's your fault she's dead. You loved her and you let her go. Suddenly, I wasn't sad anymore. I was angry. Furious. It was all my fault. I let her die. 

I ripped my arms away from the doctors grip and punched the wall as hard as I could. There was a loud crack sound and my wrist started throbbing. I deserved it. I deserved every inch of pain that I felt.

"Miss, please calm down," he says, trying to grab my arm.

"Don't you get it?" I screamed, turning around to face him, "I killed her. She committed suicide and it's my fault. She is dead because of me. I deserve to break my hand. I deserve to live in pain until the day I day. I deserve to live a lonely and painful life."

Tears were streaming down my face and I was hyperventilating. The doctor closed his eyes and nodded slowly. He reached out slowly towards me and gently took my arm and we began walking again. 

He took my into an empty room. He sat me down on the bed and looked through the cupboards of the room. I took this time to take a good look at my knuckles. They were already turning into a shade of plum and it was already beginning to swell. The doctor came back over to me and carefully placed ice onto my hand and began to clean up the cut of the top of my head.

Once he had finished he set off to go and make me some tea. I crawled to the back of bed and rest my head on the pillow. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks as I stared at the ceiling. A knock came from the front of the room, making me snap out of my trance. 

Debbie was standing there, holding a letter and a small box. She looked worse than before. Her arms were shaking and her eyes were watering.

"H-Hi Leigh-Anne," her voice was quiet, it sounded like she didn't want to talk.

"Hi Debbie. How are you?" I ask, a dumb question I know the answer too.

"I have this. I didn't want to give it to you in case she..." she started, ignoring my question, "In case she... woke up."

She walked over to my bed and handed me the paper and the box. I englufed her in a long and warm hug. We both sobbed in each others arms. She pulled away from the hug and left a warm kiss on my forehead. I flash the weakest smile possible as she walked out of the room. 

I hesitantly began to read the paper and I soon realized what it was.

To, whoever finds me.

I'm sorry.

I failed.

I tried. I really did. It's just come all a little to much for me. 

Please don't be mad.

I'm peaceful now. 

I won't be here to take up space.

I won't be here to annoy you.

Jade, if you read this. I love you and I'm sorry that I wasted your time. 

I am in a better place. 

Don't miss me too much.

- Leigh. 

My wet tears fall onto the paper. I just wanted to run to Leigh-Anne, kiss her and tell her I do love her. With a small sniffle, I opened the box. It was a beautiful pink stone in the shape of a heart with some string tied around it into a necklace. There was a little note in the box.

Don't forget me.