[In shaky handwriting]
DEAR LITTLE BIRDY,
It's dark now...night time. The only light coming from my little lamp. The pathetic fallacy is overwhelming.
I guess this is the last entry Im writing in this diary. Since you're gone now, what's the point?
I know you're gone for good, I saw you fly away from me, from my life. I saw you look as free as you ever have before. And I thought, 'how can something be so terrible, and so beautiful all at the same time?'
It was tragically foolish to have hoped you would linger for the rest of my life.
Because you flew away from me, until you were just a speck of nothing against the horizon.
I wrote one little letter, and tied it to your little leg before you left. I don't know...I just didn't want you to leave without some piece of me...I hope someone finds it. You're supposed to be free so Im not sure why I did it. I don't even know what I expect to happen. No one just picks up birds anyhow.
I suppose it's because Im mad.
I don't know.
I came home in the evening soaked and drenched in my tears. I went through all the entries little birdy...
All the letters I have ever written to you.
And wept.
I took the box from under my bed and skimmed through all the photos, they were blurry in my vision. When did I even take these?
I remember once when mother was in a good mood, she made us pancakes. I took a picture of you then. I remember you then.
Now I almost feel as though I'm already forgetting you.
Im mad.
Im not normal am I?
Why should I grieve so much? You're a bird...Just like every other bird that flies above my head when I walk outside.
Maybe I do need a counsellor.
GoodBye little birdy.
I love you.
Lucy
xXx
