January 5th,
Oh mother. Life is so different now. I live with father and Jema...since you no longer live to keep me safe. Nancy cooks our meals, does the washing...I don't know what we would do without her.
I always believed you were disdainful of me...or maybe now that you're gone that's what I feel? I think it makes sense. I was unworthy of your trust and respect, and therefore you kept your illnness hidden.
You were discrete.
You were sick.
Father won't hear any of it. He locks himself away, pining his heart away...he has become problematic and rarely comes out of his room.
Once in a while, he will seat to a dinner made by Nancy with us. I would not be laying it on the thick if I told you he has not seen any sunlight in almost two weeks.
Why does he even grieve so much? He doesn't love you...
He never did.
-Lucy
