Dear journal,
I hate my life, and really all I want to do now is kill myself. mum says that's all the more reason I need to attend these meetings. Get myself on track. She says a grown man like myself cant be suicidal. She doesn't know.
The meeting today? It was terrible. Mum was lucky enough to find a counsel group where paging was not required. She immediately signed me up. My reason? Being delusional and going mad.
It was hell. I'm the oldest, in a group where the youngest people are fourteen. I tried not to let their taunting get to me...typical teenagers, with their skin breaking out in pimples and the pressure to fit in. I wish they knew better.
But...there was one thing. well, one person who stood out amongst those kids. She was far from looking perfect...long light hair, and eyes that were a dull shade of green. Ive never seen the colour on a person before, it seems rare. Her jeans were ripped, you could tell it wasn't part of the design.
She didn't look self-conscious. She looked like she was suffering though, deeply unhappy. which surprised me, though it obviously shouldn't have because this was a group counsel for the depressed.
This girl, the way she talked was so familiar. It reminded me of the girl my mind has been chasing. But she's far from what my mind says she looks like. She can't be the one. Many people have the same voice. right?
What's your name? She'd asked me. I smiled at the only hospitable person in the room, but when I replied, her smile dropped and she turned away,
Jack.
I know my name is common...almost typical, but she never spoke for the rest of the hour after that.
I left that meeting feeling terrible.
-Jack
