February 14th,Today I visited your make-shift grave. Too unworthy to even have a gravestone. The smell was overwhelming because you were buried too close to the top, and we hadn't put you in a coffin. The water must be sucking away at you huh mamma. But I visited to give you hyacinths.
You said you loved the smell of them, and inside me I know it's the one thing you never lied about.
I lay them carelessly at the foot of your grave, where I could already see maggots burrowing their way into the soil. Into your skin. I imagined the state of your wedding dress and bit back my sob.
Sitting by the edge of the lake and dipping my feet in the cool refreshing water, I talked it out with you mamma.
And you listened.
Lucy x
