july 19th, 1981
Idonia Street, St Paul Deptford, GREENWICH
•••
Dearest little birdy,
Today I decided to cry. Perhaps it sounds strange. You don't just decide to cry right, it just comes out in waves of sorrow that you cannot control and at random times too. And sometimes when you cry it hurts, and sometimes it doesn't. It feels like dry heaving, nothing comes out when you vomit and no hurt comes out when you cry.
But when it hurts, it hurts like hell. To be honest sometimes it feels good to let loose and just feel sad, it's some sort of detox to the heart. I cried today for the first time since mother and father split. Of course I've cried a few times in between, but I found myself falling completely apart.
It felt good to cry. Like meeting an old friend you haven't spoken to in years, and then picking up on conversation as if nothing ever happened.
~INDYLULU
