*A year later*[shaky handwritten notes]
January 2nd,
You died on Christmas day, I barely had the chance to take in the news. The news itself did not make any sense.
Leukemia mother!?
How did I not see it? Leukemia...that lethal disease. How long had you been carrying the burden of that illness....that disorder?
Had you kept it from me for a reason? Had you not wanted to discuss it with me mamma? I would have understood...oh God I promise I would have. Look now, it's far too late, any regrets are lost.
It's been three weeks since they released me...and a week since I heard the news. I still don't know if I should grieve over you...after all you put me through? But I promise I would have understood.
I don't want to grieve, though I secretly believe my heart is mourning...
On the outside, I am nonchalant.
Lucy x
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