Leaving (An Ashton Irwin Fan Fic) *in major editing*

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Ashton's POV:

"Look, you two need to sort your shit out before we go on tour." Liam commented after he had obviously taken note of Calum's frosty attitude towards me today. He was right and we did have to sort out what was wrong and I felt even more compelled to do so after what Darcy had told me. "Ashton? What happened?" Don't get me wrong Liam is a nice lad but I don't feel like telling him everything like he's my therapist when I've only met him a couple of times.

Liam pulled out two cans of beer from the mini fridge and sat down next to me. "It's nothing. Just a little misunderstanding". I shrugged my shoulders and took a beer from his hand. Technically I wasn't lying. I wanted time to ask his sister out and he thought I was being a dick to her. 'A little misunderstanding'. Liam exhaled an audible sigh as if my problems were affecting him. "We'll be fine on tour." I added. It was probably the only reason why he was worrying anyway.

"I know how much you guys want this and it would be stupid if you messed it up over a silly argument." Louis, who was sat I'm the corner of the room joined our comversation by agreeing with him. I had almost forgot that he was here as he has had his head buried in his phone since the others left. He picked up his can of beer from the floor and popped the cap open. "He's right. When we were on X factor, Simon almost gave up on us because Liam and I kept fighting."

The two boys began talking about all the memories that they had shared whilst being on the show so I decided to zone out. However, every time I tried to focus my thoughts on something more productive, they were overrun by thoughts of a certain famale. She had trusted me with something major that had happened in her life and I told her nothing in return. What kind of person am I? I could have told her tonnes of things. Lauren, Harry, my father. I could have even told her what I'm doing here in England. But I told her nothing. I pretended that my life was all roses when it's the exact opposit. Instead of pretending to listen to Liam and Louis I decided that I would return to my room. The room in which my drumkit sat. There really wasn't much to the room, it was just a small box that held my drum kits when they weren't needed for recording.

I exited the room without acknowledgment from either boy and made the short walk down the corridor to the door at the end. As I was very protective over my kit, I sat my can of beer down in the corner after taking a rather generous glug. Even though the kit was supplied by the company I felt that I had ownership over them. They would be the ones that I would be touring with and they would also be the ones that I would be recording songs with. My kit was in Australia.

I sat down on the tiny stool and began twiddling the sticks between my fingers. There was no intention of coming here, only to be alone. It seems that every other room in this building contains some person that I've never met before and no room seems to be free. Sitting in a room with Liam and Louis seemed almost bearable but today I felt like I only needed the company of the person in the mirror. Usually I would sit and play along to the beat of some song that I had had stuck in my head all day but today I felt the need for something different. I wanted to make a rhythm of my own. Something that would express what I'm feeling without having to say the words. Something that would mean something to me personally.

My drumsticks hovered over the kit. I had no clue where to start. Without over thinking everything I just let my hands begin a rhythm.

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45 minutes later and not only did I have the rhythm to the beat that I had managed to create but I also had words on paper. Only a few but words none the less. The past 45 minutes have been like my self counciling session. I've managed to be able to begin writing down the words that I thought were undescribable. It was no where near finished and I only barely had a chorus. I knew where I wanted to go with the song it now just depended on whether I would be able to find the exact words.