A Seven Letter Word

ASLW : chapter 32

I was in supposedly our home after I was discharge from that hospital. I was with him again, not talking about that photo. I pretend that I didn't know about it. But somethings change, we barely talk. I build some wall between us. I know he can feel my coldness but he didn't asked me, or just ignoring it for the sake of our baby.

I---for once, wanted to trust him. Just for once. Since before, I know that somebody will try everything just to take him away from me. And this one is not an exemption. I am going to trust him just one more----for the sake of our marriage and our baby.

That morning. I wake up early. But I didn't get up. Just lying in our bed, looking at the ceiling, thinking about nothing. I've felt emptiness. I've felt sadness.

He finally wake up so I close my eyes again. I don't want to talk. Not now, not tomorrow, don't know when.

He moved closer to me coz I can feel his warm breath on my skin. I want to hugged him but somethings stopping me. I missed him and I love him ----but those pictures in my mind and that message----keep replaying in my mind.

He kissed my nose and told me how much he loves me.

He kissed my cheeks and told me how much he missed me.

He kissed me on my lips and tell me how much he wanted me.

And I wanted to open up my eyes and asked him-----why?

But that question remained in my mind, I can't voice it out.

I've felt as he get up and headed  towards the bathroom. I heard the splash of water coming from the shower room.

Light of the sun reaches me, its beautiful but everything my eyes can see is gloomy. 

I don't know how to accept the truth,  how to erased it on my mind. 

"Love, what do you want to eat?", he asked when he saw me awake.

I shake my head in response.

"Love, just tell.me want you feel ok. Don't hide it from me. I'm here, we can talk about it. Don't think to much, its not good for you and to our baby ", he say as he seated beside me. He held my hand and bring it into his lips.

Then why you did that to me?  Why do you have that picture, sleeping with someone ? Why do I have to be broken again ? Do I have to trust you again ? Do you still love me ? Or your just doing your part as a father to our "soon" Baby?...so much question in my mind that remains unspoken.

"I'm ok", short replied from me.

"I don't know what your thinking but I want to help. I love you so much and you don't know how much I cared about you. If I did something wrong, please tell me. I will do everything , just for you to forgive me. I never lied to you, that's one thing that I can assure you----and if ever you think that I lied----I will tell you the whole truth, I won't keep anything to you, I want our marriage work, I just want you to be happy----that's all", he say, I looked into his eyes and saw hurt and sadness. Maybe I judge him quickly. Maybe I do hurt him, without knowing the whole truth.

I've been broken before----but he take every little pieces part of me and made me whole again.

Now ---I've felt that it's happening again.

My love for him is bigger than my heartaches.  I will----I will give him another chance.

I hugged him, let him feel that everything's ok. I want us to be happy. I don't want our baby to have an unhappy and broken family.

Another chance----and I know,  everything will be back in normal. I just hope---- that picture was really nothing.

"I miss your smile", he whisper and I've felt my tears.

Maybe I was wrong----I'm hurting him and hurting myself in return.

He loves me and I can feel it.

"I'm sorry love", I say, sorry that means everything.

"Stop thinking to much?  I'm worried. I'm hurt, because you didn't even talk to me. Your coldness makes me feel that you don't love me anymore. I want to hugged you but seems your so far away from me. I want to have you  but I can feel that you don't want me to. I want hurt because I love you so much-----you're my everything and I don't want to lose you", he said, I can feel his heart beating so fast. I'm crying more, inside of me. How did I judge him that easily?

"I love you", I say in return.

He kissed me hungrily. Again,  I've taste how sweet it is. He's longing   so am I.

He didn't go to work and spent his whole day with me. We catched up, those days feels like eternity.

I don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to be alone anymore.

Everything is going to be ok.

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A/N 

Will everything be alright again?
What do you think ?