All About BBrae

Damned

Raven's POV

He's staring at me. Again. 

He's been staring at me for the past fifteen minutes, and I know why. He's trying to get me to talk to him. He won't look away when I catch him or even pretend to be embarrassed. 

He's such a pain. 

Rolling my eyes at his intense gaze, i turn to the window. It was snowing lightly outside, and the heaters were turned up all the way inside. Cyborg was pulling food from the fridge and Star was getting ready to challenge him to eat as much as they can. Robin was researching... something. 

He was just staring at me. Sitting on the couch with his video game console in hand, but not paying attention to the screen. Even turned away, i could see him through the reflection on the glass. 

What does he want? 

Suddenly the room felt too hot. There was too much laughter. Too much noise. Not enough space. 

Lifting my hood back onto my head, my feet lift up off the ground. 

"Where are you going?" Robin looks up from his computer. 

Starfire and Cyborg immediately look up from their food, cheeks bulging with the contents of our fridge. 

"Wha's w'ong?" Cyborg asks with a full mouth. 

"Do you need the water?" Star swallows her mouthful and begins to get up. 

"I have a headache," i say after a pause. Not a lie. "I dont need anything. I'm gonna lie down. Don't dsturb me." 

They know better than to annoy me when im really not in the mood. Well, most of them do.

Beast Boy watches me, quieter than he's ever been. There was something different about his green eyes. They weren't as happy as they usually were. Ugh, he was always so annoyingly energetic all the time. It hurt my eyes just to look at him sometimes. 

"Raven..." Starfire looks after me as i slide through the double doors and head for my room. 

"I'm fine," i snap, maybe a little too harshly. The doors hiss shut behind me. 

In my room, i leave the lights off. The circle of candles snapped to life as i sat on the ground in the center. Crossing my legs, i rest my hands on my knees and close my eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. 

"Azarath, metrion, zinthos," i mumble.

Breathe in. "Azarath, metrion-" Breathe out slowly "-Zinthos."

There was a wavering in my voice. Try again, Raven. Breathe in. 

"Azarath, metrion-" 

Breathe out. 

"- zinthos..."

I cant focus. My head was pounding and there were thoughts swirling all through my mind. I dont know why- nothing went wrong all day. So why can't i focus on calming myself down?

My hands curl into fists and i shut my eyes tighter. "Raven, focus."

I try again. Breathe in. Out. In. Ou-

There were noises coming from the main room. Laughing. They were happy. It was only a few days before Christmas here, any way. The others were all excited for another day in the year. I didnt see any difference in it. We gave each other gifts. Thats all i understood. We spent time together. 

We were a family. 

What are you talking about, Raven? 

The little voice hummed in the back of my mind. I shouldnt listen to her.