Don't give up on me.

NINTH

Her eyes searched around the parking lot for particularly nothing. She didn't know what she was looking for, just some source of comfort, something that would allow her to breathe. Her eyes zoomed in and out of focus as she gasped. People gave her weird looks an she decided that she was not going to be some pathetic heroine who didn't bother finding out the whole truth before jumping to conclusion.

Johum wiped her tears and licked her dry lips and straightened her back. She turned around and walked inside the campus once again, to go to his office and demand answers. But what right did she have to demand answers from him? Who was she to him? He barely even glanced at her. But it hurt so much! Why would he do that? How could they? How could he be in a relationship with someone when all he ever pretended was to be a saint then how could he be so evil?

In the back of her mind, her conscience told her that he was not being evil or selfish, that he had never committed to her, never said he had feelings for her, never acknowledged her. And he could do whatever he wanted, she had no right to judge him. But God damn she just couldn't step back and watch them loving each other when her heart felt like it was being ripped out of her chest.

It was not only a matter of heart, it was a matter of trust, of betrayal, of cheating. The people she had trusted, they shouldn't be trusted at all.

It always happened with her. Whenever she trusted someone, they stabbed her in the back in worst possible ways. Today had been the first day when she saw Rua out of hijab, her hair flowing behind her back as her delicate wrists wrapped around someone's neck who was supposed to be her.

It felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest, she couldn't breathe properly. Her friend; Johum had shared every single secret with Rua. Every fantasy, every dream and every silly scenario that she created in her mind about her and Za'ir, she had told her all that. And all this time she had been laughing behind her back, mocking her, thinking how silly she was being.

Tears stung her eyes as she thought about all that humiliating things. They were like sisters, sharing everything together, at least Johum had shared everything with her. She had been a loyal friend but Rua, all this time she had been romancing with that one guy that Johum loved. Why did she have to love him?

Why did it happen to her all the time? She was frustrated and so confused, so tired and exhausted. She wanted this all to go away. And she realized that those doses of meth had been her salvage, they saved her from all this pain and anguish. Maybe she should get back to it?

Being alone is the worst thing and feeling in the world. She did not choose to be alone, loneliness just loved her too much. When she left Turkey, she thought she was away from all the pain and hurt but it followed her here as well. Johum gritted her teeth and breathed in deeply, trying to push out the depressing memories that took place in Turkey. Her fists clenched and she started feeling dizzy when those thoughts refused to leave her mind.

I trusted you! I love you please Bulut!

Well, you shouldn't have!

Help me! Please help, anyone please!

No one's going to help you. You're one against three and we're all gonna have so much fun.

We're sorry, she's no more!

Johum gasped when she got a hit on her back, her feet stumbling forward and her hands helped her brace herself against the wall.

"Watch where you're going!" Someone snapped at her before walking past her. She stared at her trembling hands and rolled her lip in her mouth, her entire being shivering due to terror, guilt and regret. She swallowed and looked around her, finding herself in front of Za'ir Helmy's office.