Don't give up on me.

FORTY SECOND

Her eyes opened with a gasp followed by a scream that could have woken up the whole city. Johum heaved heavy breaths as she looked around the room. She threw the blankets off her body and in hurry to reach the switch and turn on the lights, her feet tangled in to the wool blanket making her trip and fall against the dresser- knocking over a few things.

In the meantime, the door opened and the room was bathed in to the sharp lights. Johum stood up and ran towards the bathroom, hunching over the toilet to puke her guts out. She barely even felt the hands grabbing her hair or running over her back. Her senses weren't working properly to acknowledge that someone was murmuring something. Finally, after she was done she looked up at his face and felt like throwing up again. He was the reason she was seeing blood in her dreams for three days now.

Pushing him away harshly, she rinsed her mouth with mouthwash and walked out of the bathroom. She was too tired, her mind couldn't shake off the images that had been haunting her so she didn't feel anything else. Did she have breakfast? She didn't remember.

Zayan followed her out and let out a huge sigh when he saw her getting inside blankets once again.

"Johum..." he called brokenly, walking towards her slowly. He sat beside her on the bed and ran his fingers through her hair, watching painfully as she flinched from his touch. "I'm so fucking sorry, Johum."

The blinds of room were drawn once again and Johum was cocooned in a blanket, closing her eyes. She didn't want to open them to face some cruel reality again. Zayan had been cruel, he was cruel and had just never shown his dark side to her. She wanted to fade into oblivion because of the stupid thoughts and nightmares plaguing her mind.

She had not talked to anyone for past three days but that wasn't something new. The night after he had killed his father right in front of her, she heard the curses and shouts downstairs which were probably from his companions as they seemed to be disagreeing upon something. She didn't bother getting up to see about what they were fighting.

Zayan had visited her when she woke up with another nightmare. She had found him sitting in front of her and she had not wanted to look in his eyes as soon as she saw the immense guilt and concern there. It made her angry, made her want to scream and distort his face. He had no right to feel guilty or even feel worried about her. She had closed her eyes not wanting to acknowledge his presence anymore.

She had begged him, cried for him to stop the torture but he never listened to her. He didn't care enough to listen to her and she realized that pretty late. He knew how it would affect her mind but he still went on with it. He never cared about her anyway. What was she after all? A useless pawn? Even to her own father she meant nothing! He had plotted against her. Did he know how bad Zayan was treating her almost like an animal put on leash?

Domenico was right. It wasn't that difficult to kill herself. She would just need some strength first.

"Princess..." He had barely spoken the word when Johum felt the bolt of rage hitting her. Her eyes went orange with fire as she sat up in bed and sneered at him.

"Get the fuck out of here!!!" She shrieked, picking up the glass from the table and chucking it at him. He moved away just in time but she was so done with him. Her breaths came out in harsh pants as she watched him with wide, angry eyes and flaring nostrils. Her hands were clenched together tightly as she glared at him. Zayan ran a hand through his hair and walked out of the room. Johum threw a pillow against the door and fell back on the soft mattress. Her forehead had beads of perspirations due to the anger she felt. Closing her eyes, she tried to cool herself down and prayed that her sleep wouldn't be laced with bloody nightmares.

*

Several days passed like that, with Zayan trying to talk to her, make her eat something but all in vain. When in beginning, she actually responded to him; screaming and throwing things, now she didn't even acknowledge his presence. She acted like he was invisible and when he persisted, she closed her eyes. He regretted doing what he did, regret twisted around him like wires the moment his father fell dead I front of him. He knew he shouldn't have done that in front of her.