Don't give up on me.

TWENTY SIXTH

As soon as she was out of the room, Zayan was already planning to bring her back. Of course he had not sold her off, he wasn't that low and he knew what his so called brother was capable of. But what he didn't know was that Domenico thought ten steps ahead of him.

He was a child in his brother's eyes. But that —Zayan didn't know. He looked at Rafiq who looked at him with disappointment and a flicker of anger in his eyes. Zayan felt a pinch in his heart upon seeing the expression and he knew that he had made a mistake.

He had planned it all, he would take the money and papers from Recugglia and make him think that Johum was his. But his men knew that this time the boss had made a mistake.

That day didn't go well for Zayan. She was constantly on his mind and he couldn't shake the vision of her haunted eyes from his mind. She had looked at him like he had betrayed her—with so much hurt and pain, anger and loath.

He couldn't handle it. She had told him countless times that she did not trust him and never would because he was just using her, he had seen her upset because all that he wanted from her was the property and not her. But the way she screamed at him and told him how he broke her trust, he couldn't shake that image away.

He tossed and turned all night. Even presence of Rüya didn't calm him or bring him peace. He didn't necessarily dissovle in feelings or shit like that but his conscience was eating at him for doing that to her. He had killed many people in his life, seen his mother getting killed in front of his eyes but he had never killed someone who didn't deserve it.

Mafia, that filthy and disgusting thing had taught him so many things at such a young age. He killed like he breathed, the sight of blood didn't faze him and ruining families or seeing them crying and screaming and begging for mercy didn't disturb him anymore. He was accustomed to torture and it came naturally to him.

But that didn't mean he liked it or there wasn't a part of him—a deepest part of him that wanted a normal life. But long ago he had accepted that this was his fate and he would have to live a life like this, he wouldn't be living like normal people or do normal things. So he made it his mission to give his daughter the life he never had.

He wasn't proud to say this but he wasn't a least bit happy when Rüya was born. In fact, he was devastated, he yelled and threw a tantrum, injuring two of his men as rage engulfed him and he didn't come home for a week. He hated the world and felt like it was an extra burden upon his shoulders and how'd he handle a small baby when he killed their families in front of them. He didn't even glance at her and after two weeks, her mother asked for divorce and threw the baby on his shoulders saying that she didn't have time for kids when she was busy with her career.

That's when he held his daughter and promised himself that he would give her a life that he never had and would make sure to keep her safe. Rüya was just a kid and she didn't understand why her father was so strict but he didn't expect her to. He had to, it was in his nature besides he couldn't let people know about his weakness. She was alive because only a few people knew that he had a daughter and he'd like to keep it that way. But now, as much as he loathed it, Johum had also become a part of his little comfort zone. He considered her family and had a place for her in his heart. He treated her harshly—that he couldn't cntrol because it was simply in his blood but somehow, from only using her and protecting her, he came to care more for her. She mattered to him more than she should and the thought bothered him a little.

He had married her to protect her and he knew from the start that there would be no divorce in their relationship because he wouldn't ruin her like that, now he didn't know why he wanted her to be by his side all the time. He had loved his previous wife because she was simply a beautiful human, or so he thought. He loved the person she pretended to be but he fell out of love when he saw her true face and got to know about her countless affairs.