Don't give up on me.

FORTY THIRD

‘Education Minister Faris Helmy found dead in his car’

‘Faris Helmy: The US Education Minister and suspected gangster found dead in his car’

‘Faris Helmy killed’

‘Faris Helmy found in the pool of his own blood’

Even after a week and half of the incident, the same news kept flashing on every news channel. Johum swallowed as she changed the channel and once again the same headline flashed at the bottom of the screen and the reporter talking about how the Education Minister who had been arrested for suspiscious activities three times was found dead in his own car outside his mansion.

Johum knew what happened there, obviously Zayan had planned it all. He transferred his father’s dead body in front of his own mansion and as the reporter informed every one of the cameras not working, she knew it was Zayan’s doing as well. Her eyes were glued to the TV as she laid sideways on the couch. There were videos of Zayan being chased by reporters and his guards surrounding him and pushing reporters away.

They were asking him what he felt about his father’s death and stupid stuff like if he knew someone who could have done that. There were also videos of Za’ir being chased mercilessly by reporters in London. He avoided them as well, just like his brother and he had an annoyed expression on his face.

There was a chaos in media and politics. Johum’s father came two days ago to pay his condolences because he didn’t know his precious son in law had killed the man. Murat was worried about Johum because she couldn’t get out of the house. Not that she had tried but reporters were outside the house and Zayan had taken Rüya to Ruhshan’s house so she wouldn’t be disturbed.

She wondered how he could be so cunning and how he could act in front of everyone like he was sad about the death of Faris Helmy. Because as soon as she opened her facebook account, there were several pages discussing how sad and broken the younger Helmy looked after the death of his father with several pictures attached of him. In which he had dark circles under his eyes which Johum knew were for complete different reason; he wasn’t sleeping because he thought he could make Johum all better by spending time with her and pretending everything was fine.

She was a little better now but she wasn’t… okay. She still saw blood in her dreams, she still flinched at his touch and she still hated him. She was just wondering when it all would be over and what would she be doing by then. Would she be living happily with Zayan? It didn’t look like that, not even one percent.

The difficult question was that if she was okay. Yes, she was eating now, showering regularly and even moving around the house. She was better, physically but how would nightmares go away. She wished she would lose her memory so she wouldn’t be tortured whenever she closed her eyes even for a nap. Zayan was the monster of her nightmares. He was an angel when she woke up and as soon as she closed her eyes, he was torturing her, hitting her and laughing evilly.

She couldn’t look at him without flinching. So emotionally, she was not okay. She didn’t think she would ever be.

Murat had sent her a text message, telling her that him and Nehir were going to Turkey for a week and the offer was open for her as well. She told him that she was okay here and everything was fine. She didn’t want to be a third wheel, besides she was very happy for him. At least he got his happy ending. Maybe she was never meant to have a happy ending. Her love had never been reciprocated and she wished that she had stopped hoping sooner rather than later. But at least she realized her naivety and stupidity.

Three more days passed with the news slowly dying down and random officers telling media that they were investigating the crime scene and whatnot. Johum was sitting in her room staring outside the window with a mirror in her hand. She had been staring at herself and noticed quite a few changes on her face. Was she getting better or worse? Her cheekbones were sharp but not in a way that looked beautiful, she looked weak. And after that she had gotten upset thinking that she was not getting better but worse.