Don't give up on me.

THIRTY NINTH

After the drive back from the highland villa, much to Johum's surprise Zayan dropped her at her home. Before she could get out of the car, he interrupted her.

"I have my eyes on you, don't do something stupid." He glared at her. Johum wanted to roll her eyes but thought better of it. "And I will be here after two days, be ready." He didn't say anything else. Johum closed the door and walked inside the house, the guards opening the main gate for her. Johum let out a breath of cold air and shook her head. She was finally home but it didn't feel like it. She knew she couldn't be herself in this place either. There were just many secrets that she had to hold in.

She entered through the main door and walked inside. The house was quiet but then, it has always been quite. Johum took off her jacket and placed it on one of the couches. She was about to go upstairs to her room without telling anyone but then she saw Murat entering through the door. He was in his suit which meant he came back from office. Johum, for the first time in a while felt like she had someone whom she could rely on. She knew he was mad at her and not talking to her but she didn't want to prolong it anymore.

So she walked towards him. Murat sensing a movement looked up from his phone and was surprised to see her after almost two weeks. He opened his mouth to say something but Johum hugged him. Murat was surprised by her but still wrapped his arms around her and tapped her back a few times.

Johum felt like crying but she didn't want to worry him. He didn't know anything that was going on around him. Even her father said that Murat was oblivious to every single thing and they would like to keep it that way. The less he knew, the less in danger he'd be in. But she wished she could tell him something and only then he would be able to listen to her.

But she had no choice. How could she tell him that she was not happy at all? Her relationship with Zayan was not going anywhere even though she wanted to be with him now. In past, he had made her forget about all the horrible things in her past and even her feelings about Za'ir. She felt safe and almost happy with him but he just wouldn't crack and let her explain everything.

What choice did she have other than blaming herself? No matter from what angle she looked, the fault always seemed to be her own. And this time she didn't blame him for how he was acting. Because she had indeed betrayed not only Zayan but her own father as well. He was trying to protect his family from the name Reccuglia and she went and helped that bastard.

Johum didn't even want to think what would happen when he'd realize that she had given him the wrong antidote's formula. She just hoped he wouldn't hurt anyone she loved or she would hate herself forever.

"Is everything alright? You look... tired." Murat finally said. Johum moved back and tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Yes, I am fine. I am- I am sorry Murat for not telling you about Ruya sooner-"

"Ruya?" He asked, confused.

"Yes, Zayan's daughter but don't be mad at me anymore. I don't mind it and we both even talked about it-" she lied. She was bothered about him having a daughter before but that changed when she got to know her. "Her mother isn't in picture anymore. Just please try to understand." She begged.