reveal secrets. | langst/klangst [DISCONTINUED]

it hurts

Lance

I walked in and noticed that there were footsteps behind me. I know how it feels to be betrayed but I knew the whole time that it might hurt them. The whole fucking time.

They must feel betrayed. They must feel like I've let them down. Specially Hunk... He is my best friend for years. Knowing who Pidge really is makes her the Katie I used to know. They both we're close to me. So close, and this is what i do to them.

'I'm such a failure.'

"You're not." Someone says and I look up to see Keith. Clearly, I must have not noticed that he was following me. Or maybe the footsteps I heard were from him. Maybe, I'll never know.

"What the fuck?! Since when we're you in here??" I asked raising an eyebrow. This is making me a little uncomfortable.

"The whole time, idiot. I followed you since the grand announcement you did there. Glad to see that I'm not the only one who has secrets here." He said with a small warm smile, he doesn't want to help me. He never will. I sigh out of frustration.

"When have you ever been interested in my life Keith? Since never, that's what. So, don't start doing so now." I say, stating facts. Rolling my eyes at the truth. I start wearing my jacket.

"Well, sorry for trying! I have been here the whole time and you haven't noticed one bit of it!" He said as if he was hurt. Dammit, why do I hurt everyone I love.. Why do I keep doing this..?

"If you have been trying. Maybe, we wouldn't have to have this argument!" I say, masking it all away. I have to be strong, I don't want to cry. I don't wanna be a crybaby.

Crybaby.

"I- no- I mean- I did try but you would leave. I couldn't speak to you because you kept leaving." He says reasoning with me, he seemed sincere... He cares about me? What the fuck? Since when..? He doesn't. Lance don't get your hopes up.

"I am done. Enough! You have tried, I get it! And I thank you for that! But please, leave me alone for now. I'll talk to you later. I'm not mad.. I just need time to myself." I need to process this, I can't let him ruin my life. He already has. He already made you love him so deeply that you can't come back to the surface.

"Fine. I-i'll see you later, I guess." And he left, I wanted to cry for the way he said that. He said with such hurt in his voice. I hear his footsteps, I start feeling my tears threatening to fall. I can't keep doing this to myself.

Dammit Keith, you have to stop leading me on. I love you too much that I know that you will never feel the same. You will never feel the same ever.

I love you so much it hurts.