In Sickness And Health ~Shikamaru~

Chapter 18

At first the only sound in the room was the clicking of the tiles on the shogi board. Reira didn't say a word. But when I glanced up at her I could see the thought on her face. She had something she wanted to say, and I had a pretty good idea as to what it was. Why didn't I kiss her earlier? I was asking myself that same question. There was something in me that I didn't fully understand, but it only surfaced when I was around Reira or thinking of her. Which lately... was always one or the other.

Alsono's words kept coming back to me. 'You're in love.' That's what she said. But was I really? That's when I remembered something Choji said when I asked him how he knew he was in love with Al. 'All I wanted to do was stay near her. She was always in my mind.'

Another click on the board brought me from my thoughts. Reira was looking down, her eyes scanning, calculating it seemed, to know her best route to victory. I clicked down my own tile and thought it best to talk this out with her. With a short sigh, I started. "Reira, about before-"

"Don't." was her simple responce. She looked up at me, her blue eyes wide and soft, innocent.

For some reason, her expression hurt me. "I think we should talk about this."

"I don't... want to..."

But that was a lie. I could see it on her face and in the way she currled herself in more. It wasn't that she didn't want to, but more that she was afraid to. But afraid of what? She made a move on the board and I reached out my hand to cover hers. She still didn't look up at me. "Reira." Still nothing. So with a sigh I removed my hand and sat back to take my turn. But that's when she finally spoke up.

"Why...?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want... to talk about... this?"

All that time, Reira still never looked up. But at least this was a start. "Because I want to know."

Now she looked up, surprise evident in those vacent eyes. "You want to... know? Know what?"

How could I explain myself? I didn't even fully understand it myself, but there was something I just had to know. And maybe hearing the reason, hearing her explanation of it, will help my own mind stop on some answer. I stood and moved around the small table to kneel in front of her, my gaze serious. "Reira, why did you kiss me?"

She looked away from me, her cheeks slowly turning red. "I don't know..." Was that a pause of process I heard? Or was she trying to think of what to say?

"You're lying."

"I don't know!" She insisted, her body curling in more. But I could hear the change in her voice. It was thick and scared and filled with tears. Her shoulders shook and suddenly, I felt terrible. I took her trembling body in my arms and gently rubbed her back.

"Reira... Don't cry." I would say it was troublesome, but I didn't want her to feel any worse.

"I was... so scared! I thought that... I was never... going to see you again!" She sobbed, clutching my chest. "Ino... and Choji, when they... when they told me... what happened... I was so scared. I... couldn't stand the... thought of never... seeing you again."

Her words cut through me and something in me began to break. I only held her tighter, wanting her to understand something that even I myself had only just come to terms with. I would never leave Reira all alone like that. Because I...

Reira looked up at me, her vacent eyes tear filled and turning red. "Shikamaru... Please don't leave me... I promise... I'll work harder to... get better. I won't be... so slow. I-"

I immediatly cut her off when I heard that. "What did I tell you about thinking like that?" Her hands were firmly captured in one of mine, my other arm still firmly around her and holding her close. "Your being slow is nothing to worry about."

Reira lowered her head, still looking up at me. "You don't mind... that I'm... brain damaged?"

I shook my head. "Not at all. Reira..." This was it... I had the perfect moment to tell her. The perfect moment for every thought in my head to finally settle down and make sense. I brought Reira closer to me gently, holding her at the small of her back and letting go of her hands to twist my fingers in her long silken black hair.

Our faces got closer and soon, the warmth of her lips on mine spread through my body. For some reason, this kiss felt different from the one a few days ago. It was sweeter, warmer. I had never known that it could be like this. I had always thought it would be a complete pain, a drag, everything I thought when Alsono first told me. But now it makes sense. Now... I completly understand why Alsono and Choji are always together on her days off, why they always sit so close to each other. I understand why Choji is so ready to be with the one he cares about forever.

Slowly we pulled apart and I rested my forehead against hers, smiling softly. "Reira... I love you just the way you are." And I watched as Reira's eyes grew wide and filled with tears again. But this time, I didn't have to erge to stop them and held her tightly against me once more, never wanting to let go.