In Sickness And Health ~Shikamaru~

Chapter 33

The doctor was right though. Reira woke up the next day, but when she looked up at me, it was obvious she was unable to process who I was. Her eyes looked up blankly and were more empty than normal. Those prescious blue pools looked like the calm sea, not a single wave to disturb her fragial state of being. I didn't say anything to her, only smiled. In return, she watched me, her eyes never wavering from me.

Like before, I sat there all day, holding her hand and trying to let her know someone was here for her. A nurse came in earlier and asked me to help her sit up in bed so she could look round more. However she still watched me. She looked down at our hands and then back up at me. What could she be thinking about? I wonder what goes through her head with her ability to process and understand hindered. I'd always thought this.

When Reira was doing well, I wonder if she was able to realize how much faster she was processing, or if she just went with what she could understand. Something occured to me as I sat with her though. Reeva. I hadn't been home in some time and it was near time for another letter to be coming my way. I looked over to the nightstand and took a piece of paper from the hospital notepad and a pen to start my letter to her.

How was I going to phrase any of this to her? I told her I was going to look after her daughter, but now...

Dear Reeva,

There is a new development in Reira's condition. It's not very good though.

I crummbled the piece of paper in my hand and tried to write it again. But I just couldn't seem to do it. How do you tell someone their daughter is on the fast track to an early grave? Something touched my forehead, just a simple light poke. Looking up, I saw Reira's out stretched hand and blank face watching me. I knew it was impossible, but to me, it looked almost like she was questioning what was wrong.

"I have no idea what to tell your mom, Rei." I moved to sit on the edge of her bed instead of my chair. It's been a long day, and my hand was shaking as I reached into my vest pocket for a cigarrett. But I only noticed how baddly it was really shaking when I went to light it. With a sigh I let the smoke spill from my lungs and rested my head against my hand. "What am I supposed to tell her when I don't even know what to tell myself."

For the first time since the ordeal started, I cried. It hurt. The very thought of loosing Reira hurt so baddly I thought I was going to die. My whole body ached and wanted to lay down and wake up to find it all a dream. But I knew it wasn't. I knew that this was very real, and that Reira's possibility of making it out of this alive was near impossible. And there was nothing I could do but sit back and watch her slowly die. I wanted to run away. But I couldn't... I ust couldn't run away and leave Reira.

Something warm pressed against my back and wrapped around me. A few trendles of black hair came into my view and I wanted to cry harder. Reira, even when she can't unerstand or can't even process who I am, is giving me comfort and trying in her own way to tell me everything will be okay. My eyes burned as more tears fell and I thought my throat was going to collapse in on itself. My Reira is still here.

Ashes from my ciggarett fell to the floor until it was pointless to try and finish it. My body turned and I gazed through bleary eyes at my girlfriend. She had that same expression on her face. But I knew she understood. I wrapped my arms around her and burried my face in her neck, feeling her arms hold me closer in responce. Something warm and wet hit my shoulder and I looked up. Reira had tears of her own rolling down her face. But still her expression stayed the same.

My lips shakily made contact with her forehead and I held her as close and tight as I could. I won't give up on you Reira. We'll let the doctor try that surjury and try to save you. I promise, we will save you. Don't give up.