It's been two weeks and I haven't heard anything from Peyton. He really hates me. My depression is getting worse and so are my suicidal thoughts. Shannon and Sarah are actually being nice to me and my dad has started talking to me a lot more.
I've been going to a therapist for the past week and it's helping a bit. The only therapy I really need is Peyton.
"So I need you to fill the sheet in like usual" she tells me and hands me the sheet
'How many times do you think of suicide?'
I look at the answer boxes and I draw a line and write 'more than i should'
Well it's pretty much true, I'm always trying to get away from my parents to try killing myself without them noticing me. I don't get the point in them wanting me alive I'm only making their lives harder.
As soon as I finished I get up not feeling like talking today and walk out meeting my mom. "You only went in for ten minutes" she tells me
"I don't want to talk today" I tell her and she nods understandingly We get in the car and she drives us home.
"We're going to a restaurant today, go get ready" she tells me I nod going into the house. Seeing my dad and sisters throwing out anything that is sharp.
I walk past them and into the bathroom, the mirror is even gone. Probably because of what happened in Nana and Paps' house.
I lock the door and I get into the shower washing myself.
I change into a white dress and I put heels on.
I go into my room and my mom is in there, putting my clothes in my closet.
I sit at my table and start doing my makeup for once.
I play my Spotify playlist and my mom starts to do my hair "It's nice to see you starting to take care of yourself again" she tells me and i shrug
"I just want to feel decent" I tell her and she smiles She gets up again
"I'll leave you to it, I'll be in the living room" she tells me I nod and she walks out.
Once I finished my makeup I curl my hair and I look at my phone.
I take it and take a selfie. I upload it to my instagram just to try and feel like any other girl.
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I never put captions so I take my phone and go downstairs "Ready" Shannon asks I nod and we leave.
My phone starts to ding a lot. I look and it's from Instagram.
I put my phone in my pocket and we reach the restaurant.
"David Carpenter" dad tells the waiter and I look around. I see Shawn Mendes with Taylor Swift and Christina Aguilera.
