Suicidal

22

Beth-

I start walking home with my little girl passed out in my arms.
I feel the tears dry up onto my face as they come down.

It's never ending, I see her start to build up a tiny bit of confidence trying to break out of her shell, but something always happens to crush her even more.

I walk into the house seeing David drinking beer while watching the game with his friends.
"Hey Beth" Billy says and I look at him

"Billy" I reply and he looks at Sabrina then me

"Why are you crying" he asks and the others look at me including David

"Ask David" I reply and place Sabrina on the sofa the farthest away from David

I go into my room and change into pyjamas. I go back out and Sabrina is awake crying silently.
David is ignoring her and the boys are looking down.

I sit next to her and hug her
"What's wrong" I ask and she's shaking looking at David with terrified eyes.
"David Why is she shaking like this" I ask and he turns. Pure hatred in his eyes.

"That whore woke up crying" he yells and throws a pillow at her. She shakes even more and starts hyperventilating

"He threw a beer can at her" Rob tells me and I look at him

"You three your filthy beer can at her" I yell and he stands up

"She's nothing but a slut" he screams back and goes to take her arm. Billy grabs his arms and I take Sabrina walking into her room while he's screaming.

"Mom" Shannon asks walking in

"Yeah" I reply and she sits next to us
Sarah comes in shutting the door

"Why is he doing this" Sarah asks and Sabrina starts looking more pale

"I don't know, he's drunk right now" I tell them and Sabrina gags

I help her up and take her into her bathroom
She starts throwing up. I hold her hair back. Soon she stops and I flush the toilet and she brushes her teeth.

I lift her up and carry her into her room.
"Can you watch her" I ask the girls they nod

I leave the room and David is passed out.
"Beth what's happened to him and Sabrina they used to be so close when she was younger. She used to be so loud and annoying" Dylan asks and I look at them

"She started drifting from David and wouldn't even talk to him. It was all so sudden she never wanted to talk eat or go out.  We took her to the doctors she got tests done she had depression and anxiety. They also found out that she had developed speech problems.
David would get so angry and frustrated when she couldn't say a certain word or when she stuttered so she'd always come to me crying. He's held that against her since, she's never recovered from it. She won't talk loudly anymore it's always really quiet and she's been really suicidal for the past month" I explain and Rob hugs me

"I'm sure she'll get better" he tells me and I nod

"I hope so" I reply and soon they leave.

I get an ice pack and go back to Sabrina's room where the three girls are laying in bed watching tv. Shannon and Sarah both have their arms wrapped tightly around Sabrina and Sabrina is paler and looks weak.

I place the ice pack onto Sabrina's forehead and she starts closing her eyes .
"Honey try staying awake Okay" I ask she opens her eyes and she kicks the fluffy blanket off of her.

"We're going to go to bed, see you in the morning" Shannon says and they get up.

They leave the room and Sabrina looks at me worried
"Do you want me to stay" I ask she nods a little.
I lay next to her and she cuddles into me.

"I want Peyton back" she says crying lightly

"I know you do" I say kissing her head "I know he'll be back" I tell her and she cries more

"I messed everything up I ruin everything" she tells me and I shake my head

"No you don't. Don't say that" I tell her and she cries harder

"I do though. Dad hates my guts, he wants me dead" she cries and I shake my head

"No he doesn't Okay" I ask and she cries herself to sleep