alternate feelings || bws

chapter twenty three || "when she stops being scared"

this is a flashback and in Brad's pov. enjoy!

"You need to stop doing this to yourself, Brad." Liv sighs from beside me, flipping the page of her book dramatically.

I only glance at her for a second before giving all my undivided attention to the girl that has got me going absolutely crazy, not that she even notices me anyways. Unless it's to give me a dirty look or to argue with me, not that I'm complaining; it means she thinks of me and talks to me.

Ever since I saw her walking into college on the first day she had me hooked on her, every move had me begging for more and every look left me breathless. She had this hold on me and she didn't even realise it.

Olivia was her best friend, oh how lucky she is. She tries to make Lauren see that I am worth even just a speck of her time but obviously I've made it hard for myself, but if I wasn't a complete dick to her she wouldn't know that I existed.

It wasn't hard to get the complete fuck boy and twat reputation with her, the whole school thought that anyways. Yes, I admit I've slept with quite a few girls without feeling anything for them, gotten into pointless fights and treated people like shit but her, if she gave me a chance I would treat her like the princess she is.

"I do try you know, she's fucking stubborn I'll tell you that." Liv laughs. "She's a nightmare, I don't understand why you want to be with her so much."

"You love her, shut up." I roll my eyes.

"It's hard not to." She shrugs. "She's even got the most emotionless person ever weak at the knees."

"I have emotions!" I argue, though I'm not sure it's a valid one.

"Yeah, only when it comes to Laur." She says, a smirk on her face and I stay silent, knowing that that she is right.

I breathe deeply before searching for the blonde haired, freckled beauty. She really is one of the most stunning girls in this world and I would fight anyone who disagrees.

Today was a day where she didn't have a speck of makeup on her face, her hair was in all it's natural, curly glory and covering her body was a t-shirt which was way to big for her therefore she was using it as a dress and knee socks. An outfit she wears often and I would kill for it to be my t-shirt she would be using as a dress.

She caught me staring at her, the smile disappearing from her face as she stares at me from a far. A glare doesn't appear on her face, nor does a scowl and she doesn't flip me off which she usually does if I stare for too long. Her mesmerising blue eyes just look at me, her plump lips parted. A lad places his arm around her shoulder, kissing the side of her head causing my heart to shatter. She breaks gaze for a second, looking at the boy just for a second before staring back at me.

She did something that made my heart stop and my feelings for her just to get deeper, even the slightest things she does makes me go insane. She close-mouthed smiles at me as she gets whisked away by the boy who I could only dream of being.

I follow her every move, she looks back at me just for a second before turning her attention back to the group she was with and wraps her arm around the guys waist. Being the bouncy, bubbly Lauren we all love dearly.

"She likes you too, she just hasn't realised it."  Olivia states, and I trust her. After all she is the person that knows her the best.

"When will she realise?" I can't stop the smile that comes to my face at just the slight chance she could like me back.

"When she stops being scared."

I smile at the memory of one of the many conversations Liv and I had. A lot of them being about my feelings, she was the only one I could really trust, the only one I could talk to.

I look down at my chest, seeing a fresh faced Lauren sleeping peacefully. She looked like an angel when she slept, then again she looks like an angel every hour of every day. She was the most perfect person I had ever seen.

She cuddles into my tighter and my heart is full of love for this girl, it was mad how much I feel for her. I never thought I would just see someone and have it click, that I had to get to know them and fall in love. Maybe it was love at first sight but I know from the minute I laid eyes on her that I was obsessed.

Olivia would be so happy for me and would scream I told you so in my face, she was right however, she always was. She was hands down one of my closest friends, bonding over the love we shared for the girl laying on my chest.

I tangled my fingers in her messy hair, massaging the spot that I know she loves. A noise leaves her mouth and a small smile graces her lips.

She had a tough day at college, everyone asking where she had disappeared to, why was she in hospital, asking her when she was going to fight Kelsey next. I couldn't even comfort her, I had to watch her from afar as she didn't want people to know that something was going on between. As much as I understand where she was coming from, it hurt just a little bit and I began having doubts that she didn't actually love me, or even like me for that matter.

But as soon as she got home after her late classes she jumped on me, telling me how much she missed me and kissing me softly but them three words didn't leave her lips like I wanted them to.

I wanted to hear that she loved me, just as much as I love her and not whilst she was shouting at me. I wanted her to look me in the eye and tell me that she loved me, with so much meaning in her voice that it caused me to tear up.

"Brad?" She mumbles, she must have waken up but when I look down she was still fast asleep so she must have been sleep talking. "Please don't leave me."

And there I made a promise to her and myself, no matter how scared of us or distant she gets, no matter how much she tries to push me away; I wasn't going, I was never going to leave her. I would never break that promise, never.