The Thing that Differs Us...

It's us. We're the problem.

He stood there outside my door with a bunch of flowers in his hand.

'You look gorgeous.' he smiled

'Thank you...'

'Here,' he handed me the flowers. All sorts of pretty colours 'Hope you like them'

'I do. They're really pretty. Thanks.' I felt myself going red.

'Shall we?' he offered me his arm. I took it and we went to see a basketball game. It was amazing. It was my thing. Most girls would rather have a fancy dinner. Me, movies and basketball games are amazing. After that, we took a walk around the park in the dark. Then, back to his apartment.

We got up to the stairs and Addison started unlocking his front door. The keyhole clicked and he pushed the door open and we stepped inside. We then just stood there after the door closed. He looked at me. Didn't do anything. He just stared. He smiled and stepped closer and kissed me. My fingers grasped his hair as he led me to his room.

My head lay on his pillow. The intense mouth movements on our lips were breathtaking. His lips moved to my cheek down to my neck. His hand rubbed down my hip. He then stopped, picked his head up from my neck and looked at me.

'I...' he started 'I-I don't know.' he muttered.

'What?' I murmured as he got off me 'What's wrong? Did I do something? I'm sorry.'

'No no, it's not you. Well, it is you. But not like that. It's mostly us.' he sat at the edge of his bed, hands together.

'What? I don't understand. What's bothering you?'

'It's us, Zar. We're the problem that's bothering me.'

'Why-'

'Look at you. You're only 14. God, do you know how wrong it feels for me to kiss you? I don't know if it's legal for a 19-year-old to date a 14-year-old. I don't. I feel... ashamed.'

I looked at him. A very heavy, deep and quiet atmosphere hung in the room.

'Addie... I understand, I have thought about it too but... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.'

He took my hand 'You are too.'

'Then who cares? Y'know? Who cares if the age difference is a little too big?' I shrugged

'I want to go out with you. I do. But.... What does your mom say?'

'My mom... She- she doesn't know. I don't want her to. I'm not technically allowed to date.'

He sighed, 'God. If my friends find out I'm dating a girl who's 14... They'll call me a paedophile or some shit.'

'Addison, how is it paedophilia if I'm asking for this?' I huffed

'It's not. That's the thing. But people will think otherwise.'

'But I love you. I do. I want to date you.'

'I do too,' he paused for a while 'Okay, okay. I have a conclusion about all this.'

'Yeah?' I whispered

'We will date. Okay? But nobody knows about it. We try and keep it a secret. We try.'

'Okay, no problem.' I looked at him

'And something else...' he added

'Yeah?'

'No sex. That's all.'

I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I swallowed and managed to speak. 'Okay...' I cleared my throat 'But I know that guys... y'know they kinda have to...' I stuttered

'Don't worry. I'm not like that.' he squeezed my hand

'I mean it's not going to be a problem cause I've never really had... Sex.' I mumbled

'Of course, you haven't.'

'You have though, right?' I asked, hopeful that he hasn't.

'Yeah, I have.'

'Oh...' I swallowed

'I am 19 after all.'

'And fucking hot as shit too so...' I muttered

He laughed.

'Can I ask a really weird and creepy question?' I said

'Yeah, shoot.' he got up and crawled on the bed and sat next to me.

'Did you... Enjoy it?' I held my breath.

He chuckled, 'Um... I supposed I did, yeah.'

'Okay.'

'Hey, I'm not going to have sex with you. I think it's actually illegal for someone who's considered an adult to have sex with a person who.... isn't..' he sighed

'Addison.' I closed my eyes and leaned my head on his shoulder.

'Yeah?' he held my arm

'Am I right for you?' I muttered

'Zar, don't.. Of course you are.'

'Because I don't think I can give you everything that a normal girlfriend can. The normal girlfriend who's your age. She could give you something that both of you could enjoy more than me. Alcohol, parties, sex... What if you regret this? I can see it happening an-' he interrupted me with a slow kiss.

'Addison' I said in between the kiss

'Mm..'

I pulled away. 'Are we allowed to kiss?'

'Of course.' he giggled in a gentle tone.

'I love you.' he whispered

'I love you too.' I muttered, pushing my lips against his.