The Thing that Differs Us...

My birthday.

It's my birthday... Yay! I'm kinda happy. Now that it seems the age gap between Addison and me has decreased to 4, for a limited time until he is 20, which is in 3 months. I know it doesn't work like that but it gives me some rest that I'm not dating a guy who's so much older than me. Today he is taking me out somewhere. No idea where, he said it was a surprise. But he picked me up from my house, telling him a lie that my mother was out and that she'll be back later. I hated lying to him but it was the only way to not lose him. If he knew that I was some girl who cut herself out of joy and addiction and her mother who left her out of desperation, he'll leave in a heartbeat. I know he will. I am insane. He is the only thing that keeps me temporarily sane. I mean, I would leave me if I could. Who wants to deal with a girl who has problems? The more I think about it the more I want to kill myself. But I don't. Becuase I have Addison, I couldn't do that to him.

'Good evening,' he held a bunch of flowers 'Birthday girl' he giggled

'Addison,' I gave him a hug and then he handed me the flowers 'Thank you'

His lips gave me a kiss on my cheek and with that, we were off to wherever he had in store for me.

We entered into a massive building and...

Oh.

My.

God.

He.

Did.

Not.

'YOU TOOK ME TO THE MOST INTENSE BASKETBALL GAME IN HISTORY?!?!?!?!!' I screamed

'Shh!!' he laughed

I jumped into his arms and gave him a hug. It was my favourite team against my arch nemesis. 'Come on! Let's go and get a seat!' I dragged him by the hand and we found the perfect spot.

'Oh my god,' I squeezed Addison's hand 'Thank you so much' I pecked him on the lips.

The players ran intensely around the arena. Ours, scored 2 perfect goals when the opposition scored 3.

'COME ON!!!! SCORE!!!' I yelled

All I heard was Addison's laughing beside me.

One player got the ball from the opposite team. He ran with it, hitting it to the ground, dribbling it. He was running towards the hoop!

'YES!!! YES!!!'

He aimed it at the hoop and threw the ball.... He scored!

'WOOOOOHOOOO!!!!!!' I cheered

My team though, unfortunately, lost. But it was a fun game. I got into the car with Addison and he started the ignition.

'That was so much fun, thank you.' I smiled

'It was fun. I love watching you cheer like that, it's so endearing.' he grinned

I nudged his arm, 'I'm not...'

We drove off and we were heading to Add's place.

'When will I meet your mom?' he asked out of nowhere.

'Uhm... Well, she's on a business trip and won't be back for a couple days. I don't know. Why did you ask?'

'No reason. Just that I have never seen or met her and we've been dating for 4 weeks now.'

'Oh... I thought we were supposed to keep our relationship a secret.'

'Oh yeah. I forgot.'

'Yeah...' I whispered

'And if your mom gets suspicious-'

'Which she will' I cut him off

'Okay.'

'You can meet her when I'm 16. Maybe.' I giggled

'Yeah..'

I rested my hand on his, which held the gear stick.

We got up to his apartment to his front door. He unlocked it and pushed the door open. I judged his body. His figure. The way his hair had the perfect small curl at the ends at the front and as it continued to the back of his head, it straightened. The way his muscles slightly showed through his shirt. I thought about his lips. The mole that was below the right-hand side of his lip. His eyes.

'You know what?' I said to him

'Uh?' he turned around.

'Fuck it.' I forced my body onto his, tightly grasping his neck, only to pull him as close to me as possible.

'Zar,' he mumbled in my mouth. He was startled at first. I pushed us into the apartment and kicked the door shut with my leg, still enveloping his mouth. I scrappily took off his brown leather jacket and tossed it on the floor. 'Zar... We can't' he pulled away slightly.

'I don't care about the law,' I said strongly, 'Please. I need you.' He kissed me, moulding our lips in perfect synch. I led us to his room and he sat on the bed and me on his lap. Bearing in mind I didn't take my lips off this boy for even a second while doing this. My thighs sat on my calves, my legs folded perfectly. I giggled, taking off his sweater and unbuttoning his shirt quickly. I sucked on his neck as he wrapped his arms around my back fully devouring my jawline. I peeled the crimson-tinted shirt off his muscley arms until I could feel every perfect dent of his slight six pack. Every perfect muscle dent on his bicep. He wasn't too muscly or too feeble. He was indeed... perfect. He tugged at my long-sleeved top. I wasn't thinking at that moment. All pain had gone and there was only pure happiness. But I, stupidly, allowed him to take off my top. He dragged it off my boney, weak body. Then his sweet face, turned into shock and horror when there was only just a bra on me.

'Oh my god...' his eyes widened.

My heart thumped quickly and panic rolled in, pulling me into a hole that never ended. I had forgotten about my cuts. I stared at them. My hands shakily cupped over my mouth. Tears formed and ran down my cheeks. 'Addison.' I said into my hands.

What have I done?