The Thing that Differs Us...

Argument

My eyes fluttered open and I see Addison's sleeping face. I thought about last night, did we really do it again? I was curled up next to him. His breathing was very comforting in my ear.

Then, this unbelievable whoosh of dizziness struck me. I rapidly got out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Addison suddenly twitched as I got out. 'Zar?' I heard him say as I closed the bathroom door. I puked everything into that toilet. Maybe even my guts.

'Zariah, are you okay?' Addison came into the bathroom, wearing a tee shirt and sweatpants and held my shoulders. I threw up again. Retching.

'Oh, baby.' He squeezed my shoulder.

I flushed the toilet and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. Addison grasped me by the elbows and helped me up.

'What's wrong with you?' He kissed my temple.

He pulled me close. Then I just lost it. I cried. Like I haven't done enough of that...

'Baby, what's wrong?' he asked sternly

'Addison I'm so sorry.' I whimpered

'What's wrong?' he repeated

'I'm... I-I'm p-pregnant, Addison.' the howls escaped my mouth.

He didn't answer, he just held me. But then, he let go and walked out of the bathroom.

I followed and found him sat on the end of the unmade bed. Elbows on knees, hands on his mouth. He inhaled a shaky breath as the tears fell from his eyes.

'I'm sorry.' I muttered.

He didn't say anything.

'Addison, please.'

'What happened to "telling each other our secrets"?'

'I wanted to tell you but you were in hospital, I couldn't just-'

'"Regardless the circumstances?"' he quoted

'Addie please.' I cried

'What Zar? What? You're pregnant! Pregnant! You're fucking 14 years old and pregnant,' he got up 'This is my fault! You hear me?! THIS IS BECAUSE OF ME!' He shrieked, forcefully pointing his finger at himself. 'Because of me.' he broke down, collapsing on the bed again.

'Addison, it's going to be okay.' I walked slowly towards him and placed my hand on his shoulder.

'I got a 14 year old pregnant... I'm fucked up.' he grumbled in his hands.

'Because you fucked me? Is that why you're fucked up? What, I'm some fucked up person to you?' I backed away from him.

'You know what I fucking mean Zariah! I'm nearly 20 years old!'

'I thought we were not going to talk about age!' I screamed

'How could we not fucking talk about age?! It's the main fucking problem in this fucked up relationship of ours!!' he snarled

'Oh fuck you, Addison!' I cursed. 'It's not our fault that I got pregnant, okay?! It was an accident.' I hated shouting at him.

'It is my fault. We had sex, Zar. Who was in charge, huh? We had sex, TWICE! I'm a fucking adult and should never have agreed to that. I should have know better! It's all so fucked up!'

'Then why the hell are you dating me if you think this is all so fucked up?!' I gestured to us. 'Huh?!' I wanted to cry. My lungs gasped for air that I couldn't grasp for them.

He didn't say anything.

'Come on, Addison! Please... I... I need you desperately at a time like this. We didn't intend any of this to happen but it did. We'll have to accept it.' I said in a much calmer tone.

'There's no way you are having a baby at 14.'

'You want me to get rid of it?' I blurted out

He looked up at me. He had bloodshot eyes and dried up shiny streams down his cheeks.

'No.' I raised my voice in immediate anger 'No. Don't you fucking make me get rid of it, you asshole!' I scolded

'You have to.'

'It's MY baby, I get to do what I want with it!!!' My screeched echoed in the room.

'It's MY baby too!'

'Why are you being like this? I thought you would take this well. You're ashamed, aren't you?'

'Of course, I'm fucking ashamed!' he remained seated on the bed. He looked guilty.

'What if this miracle could be the best thing that's happened to this world? Would you be ashamed of it then?'

He didn't answer. He remained silent in thought.

'You still love me, though, do you?' I felt myself that I was about to cry. And I did. My voice went all bubbly.

'Of course, I do,' he muttered, quickly getting up and hugging me. He pulled me in, my head under his neck 'I'm sorry I was so angry... You're too young. Too young to drink... Too young to have sex... Too young to have a baby. You are, Zar, just... too young.'

'Addison.' I whispered. What I was about to say, may be the best or worst decision of my life.

'Yeah?' he replied

'Maybe we should break it off.' The words pained me as much as saying them. I backed away from his hug.

'Zariah. No, we-'

'We have to. Look at us. We're talking about the same problem over and over since we got together.' It was the truth.

'I don't want to break up with you.'

'But you can't seem to forget that I'm younger than you. I want you to forget but you can't. Since you cannot forget, the only route is to end it.' I said in a very gentle tone.

'But you're pregnant with my baby. What, you're- you're gonna get an abortion?'

'I don't know what I'll do.' I held my stomach.

'Please. Zariah, where will you go? You can't stay at your house alone and pregnant. I'm sorry. You're not.'

'Fair enough.' he was right I guess.

'Here. You're staying here.' he mumbled.

'We've broken up, Addison.'

His face froze. 'You... We're not together, anymore?'

I shook my head.

He took a deep breath 'Can we at least still be friends?' he shuddered

I nodded. 'Yeah.'

'Then, you can stay here. If we're still friends. You have nowhere to go. I have loads of room in here. You have no choice. It'll be an okay setup. I'll be close to the baby and you will have a place to live.'

I sighed. He was annoyingly right. 'Fine. I'm staying here. But I want my own bed.'

'You can take the bed. I'll take the couch.' he muttered, getting up and walking out the room.

I puffed out air. I hadn't realised that he hadn't left the room and I heard him say this:

'You know that I'll always love you.'

And with that, I heard the front door slam. And I was home alone.
I wept the Pacific Ocean.