Chasing Jacob (Jacob Whitesides Fanfiction)

Forgiveness

I sat down with Evan at our new lunch table and waited for Dakota to come over. For some reason I couldn't stop myself from stealing glances at Jacob. It was Friday, almost two weeks since Jacob found out that I self harm and he still hasn't talked to me. Luckily I found a new friend in Evan for the time being.

Ever since Evan and I had our study date and he kissed me, we'd been talking and hanging out a lot. Kota and Josh were both excited for me, but I wasn't sure how to feel. I liked Evan, but I still liked Jacob and it absolutely killed me that we still hadn't talked.

"You okay?" Evan asked. He knew I was upset about Jacob.

I shrugged. "Emily told me in History yesterday that Jacob might switch to home school next year."

Evan didn't really say anything, but I continued to stare over at Jacob. I turned back to him when touched my stitches. "You get these out today, right?"

I nodded. "Josh and Ryan are taking me since my mom can't get off. I hate her new job. The hours are so dumb."

Evan laughed. "You act like you don't like being around Josh."

"I don't," I said, and I truly didn't.  He was just so strict about everything and he was always in charge. "He just doesn't leave me alone that much and neither one of us can really cook. I miss my mom making dinner."

She started a new job the week before I got hurt and now she worked from 11 to 7 and that meant Josh was always in charge after school.

Kota came over with his lunch tray then and traced his finger down my stitches like he had been everyday since I took the bandage off. "How's it going, cripple?"

I sighed. "I'm not crippled. I get my stitches out today." He shrugged and bit his burger. "Did you hear?" I asked him.

"Hear what?"

"Emily told me that Jacob's probably doing home school next year."

Dakota looked confused. "Why?"

"He wants to focus on his music. He really is serious about it."

Dakota didn't say anything for a long while and Evan sighed. "You guys are being dumb. Someone needs to talk to Jacob. Obviously he's not going to make an effort to make things better. I don't want to sound like the bad guy, but maybe he's waiting for you to apologize and explain things. You're all suffering because of him. They look over here all the time."

I turned around and saw Jacob look away as I did. When I turned back I sighed. "What if I waited too long already? He'll never forgive me."

Evan rolled his eyes. "He'll forgive you. I know it."

I looked back again. "I don't know."

My old seat at the table was empty. All I had to do was sit down and ask Emily to give us some privacy. "I'll come with you," Kota offered.

I looked at Evan and he gestured towards Jacob. "Go. I'm fine by myself. You need your best friend back. I can tell it bothers you. A lot. Go."

I looked back at Jacob one more time and stood up, pulling on Kota's arm. "Let's go before I change my mind." We walked towards the table and my hands started to shake. I was about to turn away, but Julia, Jacob, and Emily were already looking at us. There was no turning back. "Can we talk?" I asked.

Emily excused herself and said she needed to print something in the lobby. Jacob and Julia didn't say anything, but I sat down next to Jacob anyway. For a second it was quiet as Kota found his place across from me. Jacob and Julia stared at me expectantly. "I'm sorry," I said too quietly.

"What?" Jacob asked.

My heart started to race. That was the first word he said to me since he stormed out of my house. I swallowed hard and studied the table. "I'm sorry," I said at normal volume. "I should've told you guys when Kota found out."

Jacob seemed to release a breath he'd been holding for ages. "You should've. It's okay though." He smiled at me and I smiled back.

"I'm sorry too," Kota said. "I shouldn't have let her keep it a secret, but," he paused in search of the right words. "It's more complicated than that. It's... I was scared." I looked at him as confused as his last phrase made me feel. "I don't want to push you. I'm scared you'll do something dumb and I won't be able to stop you."

I felt guilty. This was all my fault, but this was part of the reason I didn't want people to know. There was no reason for any of them to worry about me. I was fine. I didn't say anything to him. I just looked over at Julia who hadn't said a word yet. I knew her well. She could hold a grudge for centuries.

"I don't think sorry is good enough," she said. "You should trust us."

"Jules, don't," Jacob said. "You promised that when she apologized we could go back to normal."

She shook her head. "I don't care what I said. We don't keep secrets and sorry isn't good enough."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Well it's good enough for me. I've missed them both."

He pulled me into a hug and I could've died right there in his arms. It was such a relief to be so close to him again. "I missed you, too," I admitted.

I didn't even have any words to say to Julia. I didn't even know what I could say to make it better. Jacob pulled away from me and did some weird handshake thing with Kota across the table.

"Will you please forgive us?" Kota asked. "No more secrets. We promise. No matter how hard it is on Cassie, we'll work through it together."

Julia just glared at him until he gave her the puppy dog eyes and she cracked. "Fine."

Kota tackled her in a big hug as the bell rang. I looked back towards Evan where my lunch was mostly untouched. He was gathering it up into my lunch box and brought it over to me. "Is everything better?" he asked as he handed my lunch box over.

I nodded. "Yeah. They all forgave me."

Evan grinned. "See. I told you so. I'll see you later. Good luck at the doctor."

Then he was gone and it was my turn to tackle Julia in a hug. It was kind of awkward, but I knew we would eventually get over it. I walked to English with Jacob for the first time in a long time and I couldn't even wipe the smile off my face.

***I updated! Yay me! I know this is short, but it's all you're getting for now. Sorry. Please comment and vote. I know I never ask for that, but I kind of want to be first when you search "Jacob Whitesides" on here. I'm third right now. Do you guys think you can help? I love you so much whether you comment/vote or not.

Twitter: @JacobBeaMyBaby