Chasing Jacob (Jacob Whitesides Fanfiction)

Not Better

After Jacob was gone, everyone tried to pick me up and talk to me, but I pushed them all away. What I wanted most was to be alone, but the doctor said that wasn't allowed for at least 24 hours and Josh wasn't about to break the rules. "Cassie, talk to me," Josh pleaded. "What's going on?"

"Chad fucked it all up," Ryan said from across the room. "Jacob wouldn't have noticed a thing if Chad hadn't put all the attention on her."

Josh ignored him and sat on the floor in front of me. "Are you gonna talk?" he asked. I shook my head. Josh stared at me intently and stood up. "Come on then. You have to eat. No arguments."

He held out his hand to me and after a long while, I took it. He led me to the kitchen and got me settled on a stool as the island. "Are you okay on a stool? We can eat in the dining room."

The doorbell rang. "What am I going to tell Julia!?" I totally forgot she was on her way over.

Dakota and Ryan had followed us and Kota was leaning against the counter. "You tell her the truth. As much of it as you can, or she's going to storm out too."

We all stood there until Ryan groaned and went to open the door for her. "What do I even say?"

Josh was silent as he scooped out mac and cheese for everyone, making sure I had the most. Kota shrugged. "I don't know. You just have to do it for both of us. I'm not going to lose anyone because of this."

Hearing him say that stung. It felt exactly like betrayal, but I couldn't think about it because that was right when Ryan walked in with Julia."

She came towards me immediately and pulled me in a hug. "Cassie! How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "Well I have a hole in my head, but other than that, I guess I'm fine." That was a lie.

She laughed a little and checked out the bandage. "How long do you have to wear that?"

I shrugged. "A few days or something. I don't remember."

Josh sat my bowl in front of me with a fork. "Eat."

Up until this point I'd had my hands under the edge of the island or out of Julia's sight, but now I didn't have a choice but to show her. "I'm not hungry," I tried to argue, but Josh gave me a look that could kill.

"You haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. You're going to hurt yourself. You lost all that blood yesterday. Eat." He stabbed my fork into the middle of the pasta. "I'll force feed you if I have to."

I pulled my right hand out to feed myself. I wasn't sure what I was hoping for; maybe that Julia wouldn't notice my cuts and I could say that it never came up, or for her to notice so I wouldn't have to bring it up, but I didn't get either. "Where's Jacob?" she asked. It hadn't even occurred to me that she would expect him to be there. Her phone started violently vibrating in her pocket and she answered it. "Hello?" I could identify Jacob's voice from miles away, especially when he was upset or angry and he was pissed. Julia listened for awhile and then she grabbed my wrist, turning it to see for herself.

Her face fell and she shook her head at me before walking out. I stared desperately at Dakota. "Do something," I pleaded him.

He looked lost and angry, but finally he headed for the living room. After that we heard the door slam twice. Tears stung my eyes as the reality of it all sank in. I probably just lost not only one, but two, maybe all three of my best friends. Josh stood across the island from me and leaned forward. "Eat first. Cry later. Your physical health is more important right now. We'll take everything else as it comes. Do you understand?"

I couldn't talk. A solid block of emotions built up in my throat, but against my will, I lifted my hand and took a bite of my mac and cheese. So many things could go wrong from that point on. Jacob could tell his mom. He could decide to never talk to me again. The whole school could know. They could all stop talking to me. I could have to sit alone at lunch.