Chasing Jacob (Jacob Whitesides Fanfiction)

Facing Fears

***I'm really nervous to post this chapter because so much changes really fast. I apologize in advance to anyone who managed to get genuinely attached to this story. I'm about to blow your mind. Please comment throughout so I know how you feel about this because I don't know how I feel.***

The next day was just as emotionally draining as the day before. Ryan had been at my house up until I was ready to turn in for bed, so I never got the chance to sort out my confusion over him with Josh, so I still felt horribly awkward sitting next to Ryan on the ride to school. The only sort of communication we'd had was the exchange of our numbers, but both of us were obviously lying now. I could see Ryan struggling not to say anything over it, but he seemed to keep biting his tongue and that was fine by me.

Jacob was abnormally upset when he got in the car, but that was kind of understandable seeing how he's just dumped his first, proper, go-on-dates kind of girlfriend. Dakota was the only one in a semi-normal mood, but that was only until he stepped into the car. Immediately it was evident that he thought you could cut the tension between Ryan and I with a knife, but I think the tension as actually too serious for just a knife. You'd probably need a chainsaw or something of that sort before it even made a dent in that tension. Kota didn't even attempt to say anything until we were safely away from the car.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you never got a chance to talk to Josh and it's straining things just a little bit," Kota said while he nudged me.

Jacob finally cracked a smile. "I don't think you're actually going out on a limb. I think that's still pretty solid ground to be honest."

I sighed. "I have no idea what to do about him, but I miss meeting up with him. Is that bad?" I asked as we all approached the baseball team.

Jacob looked worried as we neared the guys, but I couldn't tell if it was from my comment or the guys we were approaching. Everyone welcomed Jacob before I could ask what the look was about, but the welcome didn't come without questions. Everyone wanted to know why he wasn't with Emily. Somehow their big argument on the front lawn the day before hadn't given them away.

"We broke up," Jacob said. Everyone obviously wanted to know why. The real reason was because Emily was crazy jealous of me, even though she didn't need to be, but Jacob didn't toss her under the bus by saying that. "I just don't like her the same way I used to."

Everyone accepted his excuse and I joined their conversation about the math test we were having that day. Jacob stayed quiet. When the bell rang, Jacob and I walked to our lockers together and I finally got to ask him about the look he gave when we got out of the car. "You don't like Ryan, do you? Like are you starting to feel different about him?"

I sighed. "That's my biggest problem. I definitely feel different about him, but I don't know what kind of different. Like maybe I like him, but maybe I like him even less than I did in the beginning, but I'm already addicted to the alternative."

"This is why me and Josh were worried from the beginning," Jacob whispered quietly as we got into homeroom.

I stayed quiet for a long time and when the announcements ended and the bell rang, I grabbed his arm before he walked out in the direction of his first class. "I know. I'm scared about it."

Jacob knew I was just continuing the earlier conversation and he gave my arm a gentle squeeze. "We'll figure everything out," he promised.

My morning classes weren't any worse than any other day. I managed to put a good amount of focus into them, so time flew by quickly. Lunch was weird. Suddenly the table that had 6 people at it just a few weeks ago, only had three. I sat next to Jacob and Kota sat across from me. Emily was sitting with Julia and Evan.