Open When • JO MFZ COMPLETED

Chapter 31 • To Hear My Voice

Mackenzie's POV

Do you ever miss somebody? Like somebody so much you miss hearing their voice? You miss seeing their face?

That's what happened to me today. I miss John everyday but, today was different. I missed hearing his voice. It was like I almost forgot it.

I know I didn't forget it, it was just, missing. I missed hearing it. It was like that one piece of the puzzle that it can't find.

"Hey Cars, can we talk for a minute?" I ask.

Currently we're sitting in the cafeteria. Lunch is almost over and so is school.

Carson looks up and nodded. Both of us stand up and walk towards the bathrooms. Standing in the hallway between both.

"What's up Kenzie? What's wrong?" Carson asked concerned, leaning against the wall.

"Um, I'm alright I guess," I shrugged. "It's just- do you ever miss hearing Lauren's voice?"

He gives me a questioning look. Shifting his weight on his feet, he looks around and crosses his arms shrugging.

"Yeah sometimes why? Is this about John?" Carson asks.

I sighed and covered my face with my hands.

"Yeah it is. Just, sorry I asked forget about it," I say, turning on my heel to walk away.

Carson grabs my arm and spins me back around. And pulls me close to him. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly.

"Hey, it's okay I'm not mad. I miss hearing Lauren's voice as much as you miss hearing Johnny's. Trust me it'll get better," Carson reassured.

I nodded and buried my face into his chest.

"Knowing Johnny, he probably made something for you for this scenario," Carson stated.

I looked up and nodded.

He's probably right. Johnny probably did make something for this.

"Let's head back, they're probably wondering what's going on right now," I say.

Carson nods and lets me out of his hug. We walk back together to our table. Taking our seats across from each other.

"What was that about?" Lexi asks.

I look up and turn to her. "Nothing, just I'll tell you later," I say.

She nods and turns back to Mark. Continuing their conversation.

-

"So what happened today at lunch?" Brynn asks, plopping into my bean bag chair.

"Nothing, I just wanted to talk to Carson about something," I say, taking a seat on my bed.

"Ya but, you were talking for awhile. What was it about?" Annie questions sitting next to me.

I sighed and looked at them sadly.

"It was stuff about John and Lauren," I admit. "I just asked if he misses hearing Lauren's voice because I miss hearing Johnny's."

Then the realization hits them. That's why I've been so mopey lately.

They all come over and wrap me in a group hug. It was surprisingly comforting in a way. The end the hug minutes later and gave me sympathetic looks.

"Maybe John did something for this," Ruby states, passing me the box of letters.

I nodded opening it up. "That's what Carson said too. And knowing Johnny, he probably did."

We all rummage through the envelopes. Hoping, praying to find something. Luckily, when I was about to give up, Lexi found something.

"Here it is, open when you want to hear my voice," Lexi smiled, handing it over to me.

I smiled and opened it up. Inside was only a little note card that said:

To hear my voice, go to the bag under your bed. You will find what you need there. :)

I put it on my bed and go to the floor. Pulling out the infamous bag full of many wonders John has left.

I open it up and pull out the cassette player and the cassettes themselves. Finding the one labeled; to hear my voice.

I pick it up and place it in the player. Closing it then pressing the play button.

Hey babygirl, it's me Johnny boy. I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. Your voice, your laugh, your beautiful brown eyes and perfect hair.

I miss how when you laugh, your nose scrunches up and your eyes squint. I miss seeing you wear you glasses, regardless that you say they're "dorky" or make you look "ugly."

Gosh, I'm so lucky to have you as my girlfriend. You're fucking perfect. Absolutely fucking perfect.

I wish I could be with you, I hope it'll be sooner than later that I can see you.

All I can say is i wish I could hold you in my arms. We could watch movies all night long and do our usual Friday night activities.

I wish I could talk longer, but I only have so much time. Before I go I have to say this:

I love you to the moon and back Mack. I'll be home soon.

Love johnny boy.

The tape ends and we all look at each other. Tears welled up in my eyes. Threatening to spill.

"You okay Kenzie?" Brynn asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just miss him," I sighed.