Eddsworld x Reader One-shots!

Stay For Me

Tord x Suicidal! Reader

Warning: This one-shot will obviously have a possibly triggering theme. Viewers beware.

"Nothing good will happen. I don't get why you're still here."

That was me, lying back on my bed, staring at the cieling, talking to myself.

Well, actually, it wasn't really ME talking. It was someone else, in my head. Another part of me. This part of me is what makes me hate everything. My friends, my family, myself, life itself. It was terrible.

It always gave me bad thoughts, unwanted thoughts. Thoughts that I wasn't good enough, that nobody loved me, that I should just end it all.

It made me do bad things. It made me cry for no reason, it made me hurt other's feelings all the time, it made me physically hurt myself.

I had no control.

'Course, it wasn't ALWAYS terrible. The guys would try to help me all the time. They knew how I was. Edd would come and draw with me to take my mind off of things, Tom would play music for me, Matt would tell me stories and talk about things he's seen, and Tord...well, Tord and I got along pretty well, and his presence itself made me feel better. How, I didn't know. But it did.

Speaking of which, where were they? I haven't heard any yelling or things breaking all day...that was NOT normal in this house. I stayed perfectly silent for a few minutes, listening for any noise in the house.

...

...

...

Nothing.

I sighed, and rolled over, facing my room. My desk with my notebook and laptop, my wall mirror, my dresser. My room isn't really well-decorated. I stared at the wall for several more minutes, self-consciously enjoying thinking about nothing.

It was ruined quickly, though, as those thoughts started crawling in again. I growled at myself and stood up, smoothing my clothes halfway. I looked around, looking for SOMETHING to distract myself with. My eyes scanned the room for a second before landing on my mirror. I shrugged and walked over to it.

I looked into it, and sighed. It reflected me...no duh. What else was I expecting? I stared at me, and took in my own appearance. My ruffled, slightly matted H/C hair, my dull, E/C eyes with bags under them from crying a little too much, my slightly thick body shape that I couldn't seem to control. I just stared. Even worse, I was only wearing a t-shirt and shorts. I could see almost all of my scars from when my thoughts had made me do the bad things. I looked absolutely terrible. What have I been doing? Nothing good, that's what.

As I kept staring, my own appearance hurt me more and more. To make things worse, my bad thoughts started coming again, and this time, I couldn't stop them. I started listening to them, being trapped under their metaphorical weight. I heard them loud and clear...

"You look disgusting."

"Others don't deserve to see someone as horrid as you."

"You're nothing but a mistake."

"You shouldn't even be here."

I stayed silent as they went through my head. My expression didn't even change. But, though I looked calm on the outside, on the inside, I was tearing at my hair, bawling my eyes out, begging for them to stop. But I held it in. I knew it wouldn't do anything. Fighting it was useless.

"Just like you."

SMASH

Glass went everywhere. My thoughts controlled me...I had punched my mirror, shattering it. I couldn't stop myself...my eyes were shut, my breathing was shallow. My fist stayed in it's place in the broken mirror. I stayed like this for a few moments, before I finally opened my eyes again. I didn't realize until now, but a few glass shards had pierced into my hand, and blood was trickling down the sides of it. The true part of me wanted to freak out and run to go clean and treat it, but then, there was the bad part of me. The bad part of me enjoyed my pain...and it wanted more. I tried to tell myself to stop, but my bad side overpowered me. I turned away, facing my room, and slid down to the floor. I scanned the mess around me for a moment before finding a long, thin glass shard, one with an extra sharp edge. I kept my eyes on it as I brought it up to my arm.