Their painful...
What is it aching for?
A person? A place? It's hard to pin it down and say yep that's what's causing me pain..
Is it a person who you lost years ago? Is it the memories? Is it the feeling of when someone is there, like it feels like they're alive and we know that but you don't talk to them yet when your mind wanders about them you smile at the image of their face in your mind and feel... Peaceful..... But what if they're no longer with us. What if god took them to heaven and they're looking down at us, guiding us in the right direction every single day. Smiling at us from heaven, being proud of us for making the right choices. Happy for us when we're happy and sad when we're sad. Just the feeling of them with us makes you smile and comforted, afraid to snap back to reality to realize..... They're dead.
Or maybe you ache to go back to a country, maybe your family is there, maybe your friends, maybe your lover, maybe you just have so much memories there that you ache with every inch of your body to go back. But what then.... What happens when you're already there? Is that it? Just is that it? Maybe that's what home feels like... Maybe home is a place where you're at peace. Maybe it's your room, for others home is at their friends house, other peoples home might be with their loved one or family but what do I know? I'm just a teenage girl getting by in life :) have I found my home? .... No.
Home.... It takes time for you to find it. When you do..... Home is great.
Why is it that there's still a heart ache? Is it missing someone? Or missing a place? That's not it. Heart aches are annoying but just remind yourself that its fine, that everything is fine, that pain is just an illusion, you just dismiss it and move on. It's still there.... Annoying you, reminding you every second that it's there but you dismiss it anyway.
Why do humans get heart aches? Its like your heart tries to talk you but you choose to ignore it. So many people and songs tell us to follow our heart but when your heart is in so many pieces which do you follow? The one with a dead family member that you ache to go with or the piece with someone who broke you into a million pieces and left you there just by yourself alone in the dark only because they were scared and didn't wait or the millions of pieces your heart is in from your last battle. Which piece are you supposed to follow???? Despite all that you do as your told and follow your heart, you listen to it patiently and try to see what your heart wants but what if what it wants is impossible to get, "nothings impossible " I'll rephrase , what if what your heart wants cannot be gotten for your heart. Or maybe it's a routine of talking to someone but you know you've already found someone else. What does it want??
Pain is an illusion, is it??? Is it really an illusion? If pain was an illusion then life would have been lived wrong. No more time spent healing spiritual wounds or emotional scars or heart breaks. I am sad to say that in my opinion pain is not an illusion. Pain is pain and it's painful, sometimes unbearable. Pain drives you to suicide sometimes yet some still sit there and say pain is an illusion....
What if every time you got hurt you can dismiss it and say "its an illusion its not real" but you can't! Pain is not an illusion. I wish it was, so much pain wouldn't exist then.
