Isn't it crazy that when you were 9 you thought that when your 15 you thought you'd be awake till 4am in a party with your friends yet here you are crying your eyes out alone in the dark. How did everything go so wrong so quick??? 2 years ago you'd be soundly asleep without a care in the world yet here you are slowly killing yourself while hoping it worked. Is it over a boy? Problems with your parents? Is it?? Is that nine year old you proud of you right now? I know mine isn't. Mine is so disappointed that I bet she never wants to grow up so she doesn't have to be the thing that I become.
2 years ago if someone asked you if you were ok and your face would light up, your hands would hold each other in front of yourself, your feet would rock front and back and you'd laugh and even your eyes would laugh as you looked the person with so much life and say "Yeah, I'm ok. Better than ever"..... Now if someone asks if you're ok, you silently scream inside and say NO! I'M NOT! But all you do is stand firm with your hands deadly hanging to your side and say "I'm fine". You manage to give them a quick small dead smile to make sure they believe you, yet if they just looked into your eyes.....they'd see the gateway to your soul. They would see that you cut while you're alone and that you cry your eyes out till you fall asleep. They'd see how much pain you carry around on a daily basis. They'd see how much you despise yourself, how you can never seem to be enough, how you grades are bad, how you're the weird one, how you're the less good looking one, how you're the outcast of the school, how you're the door mat and how you're the annoying one. your eyes seem to be yelling out in pain but you look down so your eyes don't give you away. Of course they believe it. They always do and always will. Now all your scared of is your best friend knowing, all they can do is look into your eyes and see. You go through every day careful that you don't make eye contact. They'll find out in less than 3 seconds.
When you're a child, the world seemed like such a good place to live in. Strangers would smile at you while you walked down the street holding someone's hand. You thought strangers were all nice even though your parents warned you about strangers. You thought everyone was at peace with each other. You thought the world was an amazing fairyland. As you got older, you began to see the world as it was really. How rape is happening, wars, deaths, killings, natural disasters and so much hate is in this sad, cruel world. You begin to question life. Was really all the wars needed? Was all the fighting needed? Couldn't it be done peacefully? Just why must the world be like this????? You begin to want to go back to wanting to be a child. You begin to regret growing up when all you wanted when you were little was to grow up. Is life really this difficult?
You begin to see why people drink and get drunk all the time, you see why people smoke and get cancer and black lungs, you see why people are throwing themselves off building and ending their lives and you see why people get so high on drugs and substances that kill them. You understand why people now do all this. It's to forget. Forget how sad their lives are and how they're not happy. You understand why that person threw themselves off a building or slit their wrist open. You saw how society deals with it. Just pull out their phones and record it all and wait for someone else to help. You see how no more love is in the word. How innocent kisses lead to sex and how there's no more pure love. When getting high meant going high on a swing in the park and protection meant wearing a helmet while riding your bike. You see childhood friends turn into sluts. How your parents were the best people ever and spending time with them was the best gift ever. How race issues were about who ran the fastest and how goodbyes were only till tomorrow. How did all this change in the matter of a year or two. Did you know that 35 people try to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge each year?.....Mostly because of broken hearts.
Teenagers now are depressed, emotionally unstable, a nervous wreck and are suicidal and it's all under the adults noses yet they have no clue. If only they paid closer attention to us they'd know that we are so emotionally dead. How some long to be dead. When growing up, you had loads of dream jobs. By 6 you wanted to be a princess. By 8 you wanted to be a ballerina. By 10 you want to be a doctor. By 12 you want to be the owner of a cafe. By 14 you wish with all your heart that you're dead. If you notice, the more you grow up the more you see the world and hate it. You see all the trees getting cut down and all the ice melting and the animals going extinct.
Welcome to society. Where teenagers aren't understood, where people will give you hate on what you wear and what's your weight. where there's no candy, where the parents beat and rape, where the students are stressed and life is a mess.
I'm sad to say this is the reality of growing up and this is the world that people are living in. Welcome, this is reality.
