Why is it that they will try control your life as if it's their own? Call me stubborn or stupid or annoying or whatever but I want to control my life. If I want to do something, let me do it, if I want to make mistakes, let me. Don't tell me to learn from other peoples mistakes, let me make my own and learn from them. Let me live my life, let me learn from my mistakes, let me learn to be my own individual.
Stop comparing me to other kids, you don't know them. In front of you they're angels, behind your back they go out and drink and curse and do stuff. Stop comparing me to my cousins and telling me to do things. Stop making me live your dream. Stop thinking I don't have feelings, stop thinking just because I seem strong that I am strong. Stop calling me dumb. Stop telling me I look like shit. Stop telling me to do things. Stop. Just stop.
You murder my dreams if they're not what you want. You discourage me just because I'm different. You make me feel small and like I don't matter. You make me feel like I don't even matter. "Study " "study" "study" that's all you seem to say, and if my grades aren't all As you get dissapointed in me and compare me to my brother "your brother does this, your brother does that" stop! I'm not him. Why won't you see I'm not my brother. I'm me. I'm an individual. I don't want to carry in my brothers footsteps. I want to make my own footsteps.
Why do you never remember anything we do? We help around the house then when that one time we don't, you complain and say "you never help me". You tell mw to study yet when we do you tell us that we don't study. Tell me the logic. When we stay in you want us to go out, when we go out you tell us to stay in. When we do what you want you still complain. When we get the grades you want you don't even say "good job" or "I'm proud of you" all you say is "keep it up". Keep it up.... That's it? I studied hours on end, I worked so hard and all you say is keep it up?
No. You don't even know me. You tell people my wrong age, you tell them I never study, you tell them I don't help you, you tell them that I'm bad in school, you tell them that all I want to do it go out all day, you tell them that I never listen to you and many, many more.
What you don't know is that while you're sound asleep, I break down and cry. While you are on the phone talking, I'm studying till I can't even see my book and my eyes are sore, while you're at home, I'm in school trying so hard to soak up the information they tell us. You call me stupid but how come you never notice that when you're out I cut, or that when you're not home, I overdosed on pills, while you were out with your friends what you don't know is that I spent hours crying. What you don't know is.... Me.
