Kylo Ren | Reader Inserts

Affection (NSFW)

Request:

Kylo Ren has been deprived of affection for about 15(?) years. At first, he's apprehensive when you touch him, but once he realizes that it feels good, he can't keep his hands (or lips) off you when you're both alone. When he meets you in his quarters, he physically hugs you in a way that you're lifted from the floor. He typically prefers to hold you, in bed or not. Sex would probably be overwhelming for him at first, emotionally & physically. ...Don't worry, he'll get there. ;)

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The air fell still as you sat in silence besides Kylo, the quietness leaving your eyes wondering as Kylo kept his focus low, listening to the sound of his own breathing. It had been the first time you two had sat alone, let alone, were alone. The faint hostility that swirled around the two of you like the wind blowing through the air vents. It felt strange... Yet, it wasn't uncomfortable.

Kylo had never allowed anyone into his quarters. Ever. It was him and only him that was allowed inside, but, after mustering up the courage to even speak to you... and eventually bring you "home", he felt as if he didn't know where to go from there. It felt fairly new to him, going years without feeling something so strongly for someone. And he had never felt anything like it.

With his new title came newfound courage, although still hesitant, he was 'brave' enough to ask you to dinner with him for the first time. And, to his surprise, you agreed. And then, you kept agreeing, dinner after dinner. Quiet, yet, comforting. A side of Kylo Ren you never expected.

And that's how you found yourself in his bedroom, sitting on the ottoman before his bed. Easily for fifteen minutes. Fiddling with your hands as you bit your bottom lip; taking in a low, deep breath, Kylo's eyes trailed from the dark, tiled ground, over to your hands. Hands he imagined himself holding, yet, to afraid to do so. It wasn't much like him to show affection... But, that didn't stop him from wondering how well your hand would fit with his.

Shifting in his spot and catching your attention, Kylo's hands fall to his knees, rubbing his sweaty palms as he hadn't been wearing his gloves. He tried to seem less... threatening around you when it came to your quote unquote dates. He left his lightsaber hidden, his cape hung to a side and his gloves away. He didn't want to look vulnerable, he just wanted to seem more... welcoming.

On your end, you wanted to ease the hostility. You knew very well Kylo lacked in the affectionate section and was more than likely hesitant to even show such thing. You expected it from a man who carried the highest title amongst the First Order. You also expected before when he was a commander. With the way he carried himself, how brooding he made himself to be and scaring off others, you knew he was deprived.

Reaching your hand out and sliding it underneath Kylo's, interlocking your fingers within the spaces between his own, his breath hitched at the feeling of skin to skin. A piece of him wanted to pull away, not used to the contact, but then your fingers tightened their grip around his. As if you wanted something. As if you wanted him to hold your hand.

He felt like a little kid all over again, someone who was too timid to even say hello to the person he liked. To scared to even hold their hand. It was almost childish and he had to remind himself that he was the Supreme Leader. The Supreme Leader was no child; if he wanted to hold your hand, so be it.

But... no matter how hard he tried convincing himself, he was still hesitant. Still afraid.

You have her now, he told himself, take her hand or else you'll lose her.

Sitting there, in hopes Kylo's fingers would curl up to hold your own hand, you were about to let out a huff, only to feel his hand shift above yours. Fingers wrapping your palm as he held it, and with a strong grip.