adopted by josh dun | j.w.d

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my eyes fluttered open slowly. i looked around the room. i was on a bed. josh was sitting on the floor when tyler, his eyes red. jenna, sarah and brendon sat with them. my friends were here too and they were crying. "she's awake" hayley murdered. everyone looked up.

was i in hospital?

oh shit.

i was in hospital.

"hey" sarah sidled over and sat on the edge of my bed. "what's going on? why am i not dead?" i mumbled, sleepily. everyone in the room looked up, shocked. "sweetie, your not supposed to be dead" she says. "i-i am" i whisper.

"maybe we should let them have some alone time" brendon suggests to his wife, referring to josh. sarah agreed. everyone filed out of the room minus josh. he sat on the edge of my bed, wiping his eyes.

"your not supposed to be gone" he whispered, his voice cracking. "i-i- sorry" he broke down in tears. "no josh don't cry!" i wrapped my arms round him and he let his emotions out.

"don't you dare do that again. i nearly lost you!" he cried, wiping his eyes. "i-i'm sorry" i mumbled, feeling guilty. "mariah, listen. your my daughter. when i first laid eyes on you in that adoption centre and saw you run out of the room crying, i knew i wanted to help and love and care for you. i know things are hard. your past, your mental health, school...i know you have trust issues. and i'll do anything for you to trust me. i want you to be okay. i want to be the one that's there for you, every step of your battle. i don't want you to feel shit. your loved. i want you to be a happy teenager who loves life. and i don't care what it takes - i want you to have the life you want. your precious to me and i'm never losing you, angel. i love you so much" he says.

"i love you too!" i started to cry. he wrapped his arms round me and we shared a long, comforting hug. "awww!" tyler and jenna peaked in. "your ruining our moment!" i yelled playfully. the others filed in and me and josh released. i gave everyone a hug and smiled as i looked around at how many people came to see me.

before they all went i called tyler back as i wanted to talk to him privately. he seemed tense but he came over anyway. and i hugged the shit out of him. "thanks for saving me" i mumbled. "anything for you" he replied, hugging me back.

josh was right. i was loved: but how could i never see it?