Khwaishein.. A Sharman story

Chapter 36

Without a blink She watched Sameer watched going round and round around the funeral pyre with a clay pot on his head ..

Never in her entire life she felt so much alive .. alive to receive every bit of pain thrown towards her and do nothing but stand there ......

Suman and no other women of the house where allowed to come for the cremation .. but nobody had that in them to stop a person who already looked half dead ..

And watching it for her was like , witnessing the falling of a bridge which she used to walk through as a child ..

To see a person being brutally layer over woods and letting it burn down to ashes , no matter how much he was loved or cared by others ..
To see a the person who mend all her wound , being lit in fire ...

And all she could do was stand there and watch ..

She was left with no-one to be proud of her little achievements ...
No one to scold her ...
No one to teach her what is right ..

Something was building up inside her ... An unfamiliar heaviness .... Which made her feel like drowning ..

She wondered why it didn't feel like this when her parents died ...the pain was so much less ... At that time what hurt her the most was , the way she missed them ... She was too innocent understand what she has lost ...

But now with all her senses open and raw , she knew exactly what she was losing ... A huge chunk of her life was related to her grandfather.. from waking him up in the morning to serving his medicine before sleep , she had looked after everything .. and knowing someone close enough was like merging your own life with them .. and when all of a sudden you came to know that the person is no more alive then , it's equal to getting your skin peeled off...

With the fire in front of her begin to cool down leaving the ashes and pieces of glowing woods , she felt the suppressed anxiety , panic and dominating sorrow overpowering her in whole like a cloudy fog wrapping around her , blocking her vision and voice ... The only thing by which she knew she was alive that the nerve-racking pain emerging from every single inch of her body , and she could do nothing but freeze ....

Hours passed .. eventually everyone left including the priest and the closest family members , leaving both of them behind ...

Shravan , never felt like this before ...
When he used to say that , he lost his love , or his mother , it was never the same ... Even the word lost was so wrong to be applied there ... He didn't why he even think such a thing .
And now standing here at this moment , that word made sense this time .

One look at her face showed him what is it to lose someone in real ...

All this time he was holding her by shoulder to keep her steady ...
He didn't stop her from what she was doing.. because how can he possibly take away her last few minutes with her nanu ..?