Acrophilia

XIV: waiting

      Jaebeom stays with his mother, obviously, instead of going looking for Jinyoung; moreover, he has no idea where to find the young boy. Rather than that, he stays by his mother side, massaging her limbs and talking to her, knowing she'll be back in no time. The nurses stay alert to the exact moment she regains consciousness, and Jaebeom is there to cry out when that happens.

It's not like in dramas, his mother doesn't just squeeze back his hand and wakes up, calling his name. No, it takes a few hours since the doctor announced his mother would wake up for her eyes to move under her eyelids, another couple of hours for her eyes to flutter open. She cannot speak, she's connected to tubes and all sort of machines, and she cannot really focus on anything, but Jaebeom calls for her.

"Eomma, eomma! I'm here, look at me. Welcome back," Jaebeom speaks, his voice breaking, his eyes filled with tears.

His mother's eyes can't focus on him and she looks tired, so extremely tired. Not even thirty seconds later, her eyes shut close again and she's sleeping.

Jaebeom calls the doctor and the nurses to tell them his mother opened her eyes for a few seconds. They ask him to step out so they can check on her and make sure she can be disconnected from the ventilator, at least.

With how long it's taking and the relief that it's actually happening, his mother is finally awake, or kind of, Jaebeom can breathe. He's hiding his excitement because it still doesn't feel real and the doctor said it would take a while before his mother could speak or even recognise him or anything. It's been too long for her to just wake up like her usual self.

Finally, because he didn't think about it before, he calls his father, but it takes three tries for the man to pick up.

"What's the matter, Jaebeom?" The man asks, voice cold and void of any real concern. Jaebeom can hear the voices in the background, which means he isn't in his office or alone.

"Eomma is waking up. The doctors are checking if they can disconnect her right now. She opened her eyes a few moments ago," Jaebeom reports diligently, controlling his emotions because he doesn't want his father to scold him for getting over emotional. He doesn't need that right now.

"That's delightful news. I'll make some time to go see your mother at the hospital today or tomorrow," the man grants. "I'm busy now. Take care of her."

The man doesn't wait for Jaebeom to say anything and he hangs up. It's disappointing and sad, but Jaebeom isn't surprised that's how his father reacts to the news. He wouldn't be surprised if the man doesn't even show up. In the almost three months since the accident he has barely shown his face in the hospital. Still, it breaks Jaebeom's heart a bit, and he feels like he needs to repress his own emotions.

Since the doctor came in the room and told him his mother would wake up, he's been on the edge, just waiting for her to come back, expectant. For hours, he's been on hold and it still doesn't feel like the moment has come to rejoice and really celebrate.

Pushing his feelings to the back to deal with what's at hands, Jaebeom makes another call, this time to his aunt to inform her his mother is finally awake. Contrary to his dad, his aunt screams and expresses her great joy, saying she's running back to the hospital with Youngjae. That makes him smile, glad to feel some joy about this. It makes him feel less lonely.

Because Jaebeom cannot enter the room yet and they have taken his mother to run some tests, he goes to the rooftop for some fresh air and put his thoughts and emotions in order. It's hard to accept his mother is awake when she hasn't said a word and hasn't properly looked him in the eyes, but he saw her awake and he knows the doctor are making sure she is well enough. Maybe he did watch too many dramas where the worst outcome was the coma patient not recognising anyone, eloquently saying they don't know anything or what happened. Or those in which the patient recognises their family and cry in joy together. In reality it's a slow process, gradual and it keeps Jaebeom hanging. It might take a few days before his mother can actually speak or even understand the questions, and it'll take that much for Jaebeom to properly feel his mother is back.