Acrophilia

XL - resilient

    Mark and Jackson drop Jaebeom by his place, but instead of going home and although it's too late, he heads to the hospital to see Jinyoung. He needs to see the younger one more time, at least. For his aching heart, for the ease of his mind. 

Jaebeom is torn, he's scared as much as he misses Jinyoung already, he doesn't know in which way seeing the other will help him, he just know he needs to see the younger, even if it's from afar. He makes his way to the hospital slowly, going over his head his options.

He could approach Jinyoung again, as two strangers getting to know each other, as if all they went through didn't exist. Jaebeom knows that would be hard for him because he remembers everything and going back to the starting point feels way too painful. And even if Jaebeom was capable of that, there's the issue of Jinyoung's depression and all of his problems. Whatever progress the younger did, whatever new determination he reached or desire to live he acquired, all that is gone along with his memories. The Jinyoung that is awake now doesn't want to live, doesn't have any motivation. The Jinyoung that is awake now is the one that existed before Jaebeom met him.

He could also explain things to Jinyoung, but if he doesn't remember, the younger will only think Jaebeom is crazy and probably get a restraining order or who knows what other dramatic thing Jinyoung is capable of.

Or... or Jaebeom could use this chance to walk away and avoid all the drama, all the complications, all of the problems and just focus on his life, finishing his program, his mother and all what's on his plate already. If Jinyoung went back in time, so could he, right?

Jaebeom cannot make his mind just yet, not even when he makes it to the hospital and up to the eight floor. He knows he cannot go into the room, and that technically he isn't allowed there without his mother staying in a room.

Quietly, almost like a ghost himself, Jaebeom walks to Jinyoung's room, but he doesn't open the door, he just watches from the small window in there, trying to find the younger. It's late, most patients are sleeping but Jaebeom can see a light from Jinyoung's nightstand and as he looks better, he can see the younger sitting on his bed, he holds something in his hands and just watches it, kind of lost. He looks incredibly sad, and it breaks his heart to see Jinyoung like that. He's about to enter the room when he notices what's in Jinyoung's hands: a scarf.

Jaebeom's scarf.

He freezes, his mind, his body and his heart, all of him stops and all he can see is Jinyoung holding that scarf in his hands. He doesn't know what to do, but a small voice in his head starts getting loud, louder and louder, telling him to go in, to go to Jinyoung and not give up.

Jaebeom gabs the handle of the door, ready to slide it open.

"Young man!" Someone calls, making Jaebeom stop and turn to his right. "You can't be here at this time. It's late, the patients are sleeping. Visiting hours are from ten am." The nurse is someone he doesn't know, someone who wouldn't let it slide and allow him to visit like before. "Please, leave."

Jaebeom's hand grips the handle tighter, not wanting to give up, but the nurse looks fierce and like he won't allow the young man to even slide open that door.

"I—" Jaebeom tries, but the nurse only glares at him, at his hand. He accepts he has to give up for the night. "I'm sorry."

Reluctantly, he leaves the hospital, but his heart is racing and his mind is buzzing, all he can see is Jinyoung and the scarf. He has no idea how that got to Jinyoung's bed, but he's sure that's one of the ones he gave the younger when he was still in coma.

That's ought to be a sign.

For now he has to leave Jinyoung but Jaebeom will be there the next morning and he won't give up on the other man.