Acrophilia

XXI: promise me

       Jinyoung's hand sticks out, waiting for Jaebeom to take it. He continues just watching the younger from the floor, his heart hammering with relief and surprise. Honestly, his whole body feels made of gelatine in that moment, so grateful Jinyoung is there, alive and smiling at him. Oddly, he feels like he can properly breathe now that he's seeing him, his whole chest expanding just to give his heart more room to beat freely, louder and stronger.

The only time Jaebeom has felt this relieved was when the doctor told him his mother had survived the surgery and later when she woke up. It's understandable, his mother is basically the most important person for him, which makes it so odd that he feels so strongly when it comes to Jinyoung. They barely know each other, their friendship is tentative, just blossoming at best. It would be sensible to feel like that if it was about Jackson or Mark, or Youngjae, but Jaebeom thinks even if he didn't hear from them in months he wouldn't be that worried or that relieved if they showed up.

Perhaps, Jaebeom tells himself, it's because he thought Jinyoung had killed himself. He'd never think that of any of his other friends. Maybe that's why he feels so relieved to see the younger again, alive.

Happy.

Jaebeom is just so happy to see Jinyoung, so he takes the hand the other boy is offering and allows Jinyoung to help him back on his feet. Using the momentum of the lift Jaebeom pulls Jinyoung to him, wrapping his arms around his slim frame, hugging him tight. The younger man is evidently surprised and tenses in his arms, not quite sure of what to do. Jaebeom, on the other hand, just squeezes Jinyoung as if trying to make sure he's really there, breathing deeply and willing his heart to calm down, his friend didn't kill himself, he didn't disappear without saying a word.

"I'm so glad to see you again," Jaebeom mutters, holding him a bit tighter, burying his face in Jinyoung's shoulder, breathing in and associating the soft scent as Jinyoung's.

His friend finally seems to relax and hugs him back, his own arms wrapping around Jaebeom, patting his back in a comforting gesture.

"It looks like you actually missed me," Jinyoung comments, sounding amused.

"I missed you," Jaebeom breathes out and he can feel how Jinyoung tenses once again. "I thought you had killed yourself. I had no idea how or where to find you. I was so worried."

This time Jinyoung pulls back, needing to look into Jaebeom's eyes to believe his words and confirm his honesty. Jaebeom knows he looks anxious and a bit on edge, he honestly looks like someone who's been worried for a long time. However, this is how Jinyoung knows Jaebeom: anxious, nervous and worried.

"I told you I was going to be fine..." Jinyoung whispers and Jaebeom is shaking his head already.

He keeps Jinyoung at arm length, his hands on the other's biceps, with a firm hold. His eyes are intense and a bit desperate, making Jinyoung not only surprised but probably also uncomfortable.

"You didn't look fine and I felt guilty the whole time, imagining the worst case scenario. The worst part was realising I would never know if something happened to you, and I'd have to live with that worry the rest of my life," his voice sounds higher the more he speaks, his fingers burying deeper in Jinyoung's arms, but the younger doesn't complain.

"Don't be dramatic, you would've completely forgotten about me after a while."

Jaebeom feels offended Jinyoung says that, and his face reflects that emotion. Jinyoung has made an impact in his life, somehow he got under his skin and became precious to him. How dare he say such thing?

"Can you stop saying stupid things and just promise me you'll never leave without telling me first? At least to put me at ease?" Jaebeom asks, a tad bit fed up already and just needing that reassurance. "Have some sympathy. I keep having nightmares of you jumping and me being too late."