Acrophilia

XXXIX - perhaps

     It's hard, immensely hard. To fall asleep, to actually sleep, to wake up the next day, to even have breakfast is difficult. A part of Jaebeom knows he's being way overdramatic, but the biggest part of him, the one that's heartbroken, doesn't listen to reason and just feels devastated. And as a heartbroken boy, he can't think clearly. He's mostly emotions and no logic at all. Whenever he even considers to figure out what to do, all he can see is the way Jinyoung looked at him and he's lost again in his angst.

His mother probably sees how depressed he is and decides that Jaebeom needs help, people that can pick him up and get his mind out of his own suffering.

That's how Mark and Jackson come into Jaebeom's room when he's given up on breakfast and decide to just lay in bed, begging for dreamless sleep.

The door to his room opens with a loud bang and an even louder claim: "I've come to deliver hugs!"

"And I've come to deliver fried chicken," adds another voice.

Without having to open his eyes, Jaebeom knows it's Jackson and Mark respectively. It's not only evident in their voices, it's in how worried yet ready to do anything to help that Jackson sounds, or how soft and sympathetic Mark's tone is.

"Eomma said you're sad and if you're sad I'm obliged to give you extra love as your oldest and closest friend," Jackson says, without waiting for a greeting or a word from Jaebeom, just quickly walking to the older's bed to lie with him, immediately cuddling him. "I gotcha, hyung."

Jaebeom is touched and surprisingly, extremely comforted with the tight hug and the warmth from Jackson's body.

"I bought your favourite chicken. I know you aren't hungry but this is the absolutely best and we can't let it go cold, can we?" Mark tries to persuade him, hoping to get a reaction from Jaebeom. He can feel the way his mattress sinks where the oldest of them all sits, just as he feels that bony hand on his calf. "You gotta eat something, Jaebeomie."

"Do you want me to feed you?" Jackson asks and he sounds incredibly serious, which surprisingly, manages to get a chuckle from Jaebeom.

Slowly, the young man moves, escaping Jackson's strong arms and properly facing his friends that are there for him only. He can finally properly greet them, meeting their concerned eyes and their comforting smiles. He does his best to smile back, but it's broken and tired. Still, Jaebeom reaches for a drumstick, taking a deep breath and hoping the smell will awaken something inside him, something to make him feel more alive. However, the only thing that awakens is his stomach, grumbling immediately and letting him know he's actually hungry, even if he's so sad.

Mark smiles like a doting mother when Jaebeom takes the first bite, clearly glad he took the bait. None of them says anything, they let the young man eat in silence, slowly but surely. Only after three drumsticks Jackson dares to say something.

"Feeling any better?"

"I guess," Jaebeom replies vaguely. "Did eomma really call you?"

"Yes," Mark replies. "She's worried and she also said you might need someone who takes you out to distract you. She's sad she can't do much."

Jaebeom feels bad about that. His mother comforted him all night and obviously she must be so worried, frustrated that her mobility is limited and even her speech is still slow and clumsy at times. He feels bad for worrying her.

"Do you want to talk about it or do you want us to help you not think about it?" Mark asks and Jaebeom has to think about it. As much as he's hurting, he knows he needs distraction, some detachment so he can think instead of just drowning in his own pity party.