Taemin in real life.

Part 39

A few days later I still had not told Jen about Hae-Soo and somehow, I just never found the right time. It had been a few weeks since we were found out, and though she always said she was fine her physical state was showing signs that she wasn't.

She looked almost frail at times. She had lost some weight which was only becoming noticeable now, but it was worrying me. I decided alone that telling her about Hae-Soo wasn't going to do anything to improve how she was feeling, so I wasn't going to tell her, after all I didn't care about Hae-Soo in that way but I did feel guilty about the fact she told me as soon as it happened with Chanyeol and, yet I went out and got drunk.

One afternoon I was in the practice room alone. I had just been working on the choreography for my new song when I had an idea.

I took my phone and called Jen.

'Hello' she answered.

'It's me my love,' I said immediately.

'I know it is' she giggled into the receiver.

'Can you come here?' I asked her.

'Err, ok, where, are you? She asked.

'In the practice room . . .' I explained how to get here as she had never been in this room before.

I put the phone down and sat on the floor waiting for her to arrive.

She knocked on the door before she entered about 10 minutes later.

I turned around smiling at her. It hurt my heart to see her like this though. Her arm was still in a sling, though fortunately she did not need the cast anymore.

I got up as she made her way over to me. She was noticeably frail. All the stress of being found out by the fans and what had followed had definitely not improved her health. She was the skinniest I had ever seen her, and with her arm still tied up weeks after the break I was still feeling guilty.

Hopefully though she would feel better with my idea.

'Hey beautiful.' I said kissing her.

'Hey,' she hugged me back her eyes dancing around the room, 'What am I doing here?'

'I wanted to show you something' I told her grinning, I sat her down on the stool in the corner of the room and put on the music.

I performed the dance for her. She had yet not heard the song, nor had she seen this dance before. I was kind of hoping after all the stress and with me being so busy, sharing this with her would help us a little.

When I finished I looked at her expectantly? 'So, what do you think?' I asked her.

'It's amazing,' she said her eyes were glistening.

'Hey, why are you crying?' I asked running over to her, kneeling in front of her.

'The song is so beautiful, and the dance, is ... it's unlike what you've done before. It's very you' she said a tear escaping her eye.

I brushed away the tear and smiled up at her. I was proud she liked it and I could share this with her. This idea was definitely one of my better ones.

I stood up and put the music on again. I held out my hand to her, inviting her to dance with me. She looked up at me with apprehensive eyes.

'Tae . . . I can't,' she began.

'Yes, you can, I've got you. Just follow me.' Taking her hand in mine.

She stood up slowly and I positioned her in front of the mirror with myself behind her. I placed my hands on her hips and helped her move in time with me. I grabbed her free hand to move with me as we danced to the song.

I had not danced with her for so long, and we had never danced to one of my own songs. In a way, it was romantic and gentle. She followed me in the way I wanted her to, I never took my eyes off her, nor did she take her eyes off me.

She fumbled at some parts, causing us to giggle together but we kept going, moving together to the end of the last note of the song.

The song finished, and the silence rang out in its place. I held her in my arms, gently. We had not been close like this in a while. Even though we slept in the same bed every night, even though I still reached out and hugged her and touched her when I could, this felt different, more intimate somehow. It felt nice, to share something with her, to be tender to each other, it brought back almost the same feeling I had when I first met her and danced with her.

'I love you, so, so much.' I whispered lifting her chin to face me. Her eyes looked so weary, so tired. This was all I could do to show my love to her.

She understood though, I knew she did. I could see the love I felt for her reflected in her eyes towards me. I knew she loved me as much as I loved her, the problem was she wouldn't admit to me that it was affecting her health so much to be with me. She was being injured, stressed, abused and I was incapable of fixing it.

I kissed her tenderly on her lips. As she closed her eyes and let me feel like I was taking care of her in my embrace.

'You are my everything' she whispered back smiling at me.

It melted my heart whenever she told me something sweet like this.

'Forever?' I asked.

'Forever' she repeated.