Taemin in real life.

Part 37

I had to get back into work pretty much straight away. I had SHINee commitments to deal with as well as learning the new choreography for my own song, which I was having to film the MV for in a few weeks just before Christmas.

It was busy and Jen was home a lot alone. I knew she had been in contact with Chanyeol again but somehow, I wasn't feeling as bothered by it as I thought I would be. I don't know if it was because I was busy or because I was happy she was not going crazy, or whether somehow the fact we were public made it more difficult for Chanyeol to try and pursue her, I wasn't sure.

The fans reaction to our statement pretty much went down as we thought. Not great initially, as it usually doesn't when an idol is found to be in a relationship, but thankfully the threatening letters had decreased a lot.

I told Jen about all the articles that we had found, and while I stayed up late and read them and got more and more angry, she refused to read any of them, saying she just didn't need to know what was being said about her. I marvelled at her ability to cut it off, and detach from it, even though I knew I would be the same if it was about myself, this was different, I couldn't not read what they were writing about the person I loved. I needed to know, and while there was the occasional nice thing said about her, there were at least 10 nasty and untrue things said to go with it.

One-day Jinki pulled me aside after Jonghyun had told him I was torturing myself reading them and he told me seriously I just had to stop.

'It's not good for you Taemin, we can see it affecting you, and it will affect you on stage, you've got to stop. If Jen doesn't read them you don't either. It's for your own good.' He told me.

I knew he was right and I tried to stop. It got easier as they stopped writing so much about us, and I was also so busy with work.

One night after me and the other members had been in the practice room, I found myself there alone. I wanted to keep practicing for a little longer as I didn't feel I had completely got it right the way I wanted it too.
I had been in there about 45 minutes constantly practicing before I sat down on the floor with a bottle of water and took a break. The noise of the door behind me jerked my head backwards as I saw one of the dancers who usually worked with us walk in. Her name was Hae-Soo and we usually got on quite well. She was a little younger than me but had always been a little flirty. I thought she was a little cute, but she was so flirty in a way I didn't like that it always put me off her.

'Hi Taemin' she chirped walking in.

'Hey Hae-Soo' I responded turning back the way I was facing and drinking from my water bottle.

'You're alone?' She asked as she made her way over to the table in the far corner of the room, looking around, probably for some notes she had left behind.

'Yeah, just finishing up' I told her getting up and stretching walking over to grab my bag which was close to the table she was on.

I didn't think anything of the conversation, this was fairly typical of us and the dancers around the place. I turned around and Hae-Soo was stood directly behind me, causing me to almost lose my balance and fall.

'Oh sorry' I mumbled awkwardly.

'It's ok,' she grinned up at me, I looked around for something to say. 'Do you need help with something?'

'Actually yes' she said, her eyes narrowing. 'I noticed, you haven't been yourself for a few weeks, I thought, maybe I could help you?'

'How?' I said feeling more and more uncomfortable with our close proximity and the way she was talking.

She looked behind her for a second and then she jumped on top of me. I was taken by such surprise I fell backwards onto the chair that was thankfully behind me, as she pressed her lips against mine and cupped my face in her hands. I tried to pull away but found I couldn't as I was trapped between this girl and the chair, so I turned my face away as much as I could.

'What ... do you think... you are doing?' I asked her, while trying to untangle her arms from my face.

'Come on Taemin, I've seen how you look at me while practicing.' She giggled very unattractively to me and pressed herself and her mouth against me again.

I felt nothing but anger. Why was she doing this now of all times? Every time I pulled back, or tried to grab her off me she clung on harder making it even more difficult. Her face was meshed against mine and I was not reciprocating the kiss at all.

The door banged, and she finally released me. There in the doorway was Baekhyun looking as shell shocked as myself.

'I didn't mean to interrupt anything ...' he said awkwardly before he shuffled back out of the room. The door closed with another bang bringing me back to my senses and giving me the strength I was lacking to deal with Hae-Soo. I grabbed her and threw her off me finally. She landed on the sofa as I stood up wiping my face.

'I don't know what you're thinking, but I have a girlfriend Soo. And I'm happy, I don't need this right now.' I grabbed my bag and stormed off before she could really answer.

I left the practice room and thought about chasing up to Baekhyun and telling him he got the wrong end of the stick. It wasn't what it looked like. Then I thought why should I have to justify it to him. I would tell Jen and that's all that mattered.

Before I got back to the dorm though I ran into Jongin who could tell something was not right with me. I told him everything and he said telling Jen would be the right thing to do. We ducked into an empty studio to talk for a while before I headed back to the dorm.

As I walked in I could hear Chanyeol's voice. I knew she had seen him and especially after the broken arm and death threats I knew she needed a friend, but it still got my back up a little to know he was seeing her so much.

Before either of them had heard me come in I could hear Jen laughing. Every time I heard it it still brought me back to that dream I had about her before we met. But I realised I had not heard her laughing like that in such a long time. It caused a chain reaction in my head the moment I thought it. He makes me laugh and I don't. It totally threw Hae-Soo out of my head and everything that I was going to tell her just vanished from my thoughts. I felt to full of self-pity and anger to walk into the dorm and see them together, so I left without a word and went back to find Jongin and asked him if he wanted to go out and get a beer with me.

l be ba