Taemin in real life.

Part 59

'Taemin?' I heard a voice say quietly, as a hand was placed lightly on my shoulder.

I looked up to see Sarah looking down at me concerned. Looking behind her along the corridor was Kyungsoo, and to my disbelief Chanyeol. They were both looking down the corridor towards me.

'What's happened?' Sarah asked me gently.

I could barely speak. Shaking my head, she asked 'Is she ok? Did she have some kind of complication?' I could hear the worry in her sister's voice.

I shook my head and wiped my face with the sleeves of my shirt.

'No, no.' I managed to croak.

'Why are you crying?' she continued to ask me gently.

I took a deep breath as I looked at her. How could I say this? I was drowning, lost for words.

'She, we . . .' I tried.

'It's ok, take your time' she said kindly rubbing my shoulder.

I managed to compose myself just enough to tell her, 'She was pregnant, we were pregnant, but... but ...' I couldn't finish, I was able to tell Jonghyun, my manager, Jinki, but I couldn't finish it now.

'Oh,' she said shocked. 'Oh Taemin, I'm so sorry.' She said kindly again. She looked so sad for us.

I looked past her, getting distracted at the guest she had come with, I wasn't embarrassed, but I didn't want them there, I didn't really want anyone to intrude on our grief.

'Don't worry, I've told them not to come in, they will stay up there. How is Jen?' she asked.

I focused back on her and just shook my head.

She looked towards the door sadly. And nodded as if she understood. As if this had happened before.

I realised then.

'She's been through this before?' I asked, incredulity taking over me now.

Sarah looked back at me, and gave me a sad nod.

'Why didn't she tell me?' I asked.

'I don't know. It's not something she likes to remember. When, when her husband died, she was pregnant, she, well, same thing but she was alone. She shut herself away and didn't see anyone, didn't deal with it at all.' She sighed sadly.

This week had felt like I had been constantly punched in the face, tragedy after tragedy and the worst thing was it had all happened to the person I loved the most, who I was supposed to be protecting.

Sarah placed a hand on my knee and said, 'Don't be mad at her for not telling you, it is the one thing that she can't deal with, but at least this time, she has you here.'

I nodded stupidly. She got up and walked into the room. I decided to give them space. Maybe she just needed her sister right now.

I looked up down the length of the corridor and saw that Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had disappeared. I was relieved. I didn't want to deal with them, especially Chanyeol.

I rubbed my eyes, composing myself and after 10 minutes I got up and walked into the room.

'Hey' I said as brightly as I could.

'Hey' said Sarah with a smile, Jen barely smiled and didn't speak at all. Sarah looked at me sadly.

'I'll leave you alone, I'm going back to the apartment, and I'll come and see you soon ok?' She touched her sisters hand who didn't look up.

Sarah walked past me and whispered 'Please, look after her.' I nodded to her.

I sank down on the seat next to Jen, she wasn't looking at me, she wasn't really looking at anything.

'Are you ok?' I asked timidly. I didn't know what to do.

Her eyes slide to mine, full of pain I wanted to take away for her.

'She told you.' She whispered.

'Yeah, she told me.' I said as gently as I could. She closed her eyes and screwed her eyes up.

I grabbed for her hand. 'Baby, it's ok.' I said kissing her hand.

'I can't talk about it Tae. I'm sorry.' Her eyes were still tightly closed.

'That's ok. You don't have to talk about it. I'm here anyway.'

I looked down at her hand, her left hand, and I imagined a day when I would put a ring on her finger, and we would have children, and this, all of this would be a fading distant nightmare.

I bed