Taemin in real life.

Part 50

I stomped about ignoring Jen and everything else for the next few days. Eventually though I did turn up at her apartment, and I apologised for being childish, after a lot of pushing from Jonghyun telling me to do the right thing.

I had a few photoshoots to go with my solo album release and then we were back in Japan for the end of the tour before we knew it. Jen didn't come this time, and neither did Sarah, but we would be performing in Hanoi a few days after our last show in Japan, so I arranged that I would meet Jen there.

It was a big show, a lot of different bands were performing, which included Exo.

We met at the hotel the night before the show and then Jen and Sarah came backstage with us the day of the show. Sarah disappeared with Kyungsoo pretty quickly, and I seemed to be pretty busy that I wasn't sure exactly where Jen was at all times.

I was in the changing room alone when Na-eun came in.

'Hi Taemin' she chirped at me.

'Hey Na-eun,' I vaguely said as she came in and made her way over to me. I hadn't really seen her in a long time and to be honest I wasn't that bothered that much, but I tried to be friendly and professional when I did see her.

'What can I do for you?' I asked her.

She walked over to me and put her arms around my neck.

'What?' I spluttered, shocked.

'What can I do for you is the question.' She said.

'Come on Taemin, it's supposed to be you and me. We are more right for each other than you and that fat white woman' she said grabbing my backside and pulling me into her, pressing her lips and her body against me again.

It lasted less than a second but as I broke away from her and looked over her shoulder I saw Jen stood there, her eyes open wide, in shock, before I knew it she had turned on her heel and vanished.

I looked down at the stupid girl still trying to manhandle me.

'Stop it Na-eun I told her angrily pushing her off me. 'I've never wanted you and I never will'.

'That's what you say Taemin, but I think differently. I see the way you look at me' she giggled. She always annoyed me. Too 'cute' and childish, and always playing up, especially for the cameras when we did that awful show together. I can't believe I once thought I did like her. I don't know where she got this ridiculous notion I was ACTUALLY interested in her now, not after all this time.

I got very close to her and told her in a low and calm voice. 'You're disgusting.' I pushed past her, hearing her scoff behind me and ran out the room to try and find Jen.

She would listen and understand. This wasn't my fault. Wouldn't she? I started to doubt myself.

I ran through the corridors. She wouldn't be here in any of these dressing rooms, she wasn't friendly with any one in them.

I started to panic, what if she was with him again. They were still too close and I didn't like it. I didn't like that I wasn't the only one she was close too. I didn't like that she told him things she wouldn't tell me. We had been fighting about it so much recently that my guilt about Na-eun coming onto me started to disappear and I started to get angry. I stomped my way down to his dressing room and stood outside breathing deeply. I didn't think as I flung the door open. There she was, again, with him. He was hugging her tightly on the sofa, stroking her hair. Stroking her hair? What the fuck did he think he was doing? That's my girlfriend he's touching. I saw red, I wasn't thinking as I stomped over, pulled her off him and dragged her out of the room forcefully.

'TAEMIN let go of me' she cried at me in anger. I didn't listen, I wasn't listening. I shoved her into a free room and pushed her up against the door breathing deeply.

'What in the hell is this? WHY where you with him AGAIN? Why do you always run to him?' I demanded of her, my voice rising.

I could see she had tears down her face, her eyes were scared yet she looked angry. I didn't care about anything she felt, all I felt was anger and jealously.

She looked up at me, hurt written all over her face, her eyes were blazing with their own anger and she attempted to push me off her. I pushed her back, I heard her head crack against the wall, a tiny moan of pain escaping her. I didn't care if I was hurting her right now. I was too mad.

I pinned her against the wall, my arms trapped her so she had no were to go. I was a lot bigger and stronger then she was. I was breathing quickly down at her waiting for her to answer me.

'Me?' she spat at me. 'ME? I went to him because he's my friend. He listens and I needed to talk to someone when I saw you kissing that girl Taemin. How dare you accuse me AGAIN after what I just saw you doing, you're a fucking hypocrite.' I could hear the disgust in her voice. I could hear the pain she was holding back. My guilt turned into rage.

'She kissed me, I didn't go running to her like you do with him all the time' I shouted defending myself, throwing the blame back to her. I was the victim. I did nothing wrong. I didn't knowingly run to other girls like she constantly did with him.

'You don't trust me, when all I have ever been with you is honest about him, about anything. You expect me to trust what you say about her kissing you, when he did the same thing to me and you went crazy at me. I told you what happened, would you have told me if I hadn't witnessed it for myself?'

'Of course, I would have' I scoffed at her, how dare she suggest I would keep it from her.

'The same way you told me about the other one?' she countered. 'How you tell me about all the girls who work with you who think you belong to them and I'm just some prostitute?' A pang of guilt hit me, I hadn't told her about Hae-Soo. I didn't know how she knew but I had a pretty good idea, I remembered vaguely Baekhyun walking in and the idea caused my rage to return tenfold.

'IT IS NOT THE SAME' I screamed in her face, banging my fists on the wall beside her head. 'You are mine and you are being stupid. I never gave any one any signs I wanted them. But you, you go back to him time and time again even though he's tried to kiss you once before. Even though you know I don't like how close you are. You continue to defy me.'

'Defy you?' She asked mocking me. 'I am not a pet Taemin. You cannot keep trying to control me like this. I am alone here. I wait for you every night alone. There are times I sleep alone, I can go days sometimes without seeing you and you want to control who I can be friends with when I am completely honest about it with you.'

I was livid. A part of me knew she was right, and yet I didn't care, it just seemed to fuel my anger right now. I don't know what happened next. Before I knew what, I was doing I raised my hand and I slapped her hard across her left cheek. She looked at me completely stunned. I could see the mark I had left on her cheek deepening in colour and I instantly felt regret. What did I do. I did the only thing that entered my brain, I forced my lips down onto hers. She tried to push me, force me off, attempting to say 'Taemin no, stop' and as she pushed me I caught her and threw her backwards again, harder than I had intended. This time the crack was louder. She screamed out in pain as she slid down to the floor, her hands flew to the back of her head. I froze as she pulled her hands forward slowly, and saw the blood. Instantly I felt sick with myself. What had I done to her?

She looked up at me, terrified. Her eyes were wide with tears and shock, she stifled a sob and looked back down to her hands. I was still so angry I was shaking, but I was also terrified with myself, at what I had just done.

Without another word, I opened the door and ran down the corridor to my own dressing room, ignoring Minho and Kibum, grabbing a pillow, I locked myself in the bathroom. I covered my face and screamed into it trying to rid myself of this frustration and calm myself down. What did I just do?