Taemin in real life.

Part 57

I pulled up at Jonghyuns house and let myself as I usually would.

'Jong' I called as I stepped through the door.

'In here' I heard him shout.

I followed his voice into his kitchen and sank down on one of the seats.

'What's up?' He asked giving me a look.

'Jong, I want to ask her to marry me, but I don't know where to find a ring.' I blurted out.

He twisted around to look at me, shock on his face, but excitement too.

'You were going to ask her at Christmas if I remember.' He said.

'I know, but then her sister came, and things got busy, but I'm serious this time.' I told him.

'Are you sure?' he asked sinking into the chair next to me and giving me a serious look.

I looked at him confused.

'Yes' I said confidently. 'Why did you say that like that?'

'I just know there's been some issues, and are you sure the time is right, right now? She's in hospital.'

'I know but that's exactly why. I couldn't live if she didn't live. I want to be with her forever. I want to be better, I want to show her I do love her. I want this.' I told him.

He looked at me for a long time, his hand covering his mouth before he nodded.

'Ok, then I will help you find a ring.' He smiled.

I grinned. 'Thank you.'

'I always knew you'd get married first. Even as the baby, you are born for settling down and being with one girl.' He laughed.

I laughed back. 'I know. Jong, do you think she is right?' I asked him.

'Yeah I really do, but really it doesn't matter what I think, it's what you think that counts.'

'Do you think she'll say yes?' I asked shyly.

'Yeah I think she might.' He winked.

I felt lighter than I had in three days sitting discussing were to find a ring with Jonghyun. I had been there maybe 30 minutes when my phone rang.

'Hello?' I answered.

'Mr Lee, this is the hospital. I think you need to come back in, it's your girlfriend.' said the voice on the other end.

My heart stopped. My face dropped and Jonghyun could see instantly something was wrong.

'What happened?' I asked. 'Is she ok?'

'If you come back in we can explain. She is in no immediate danger, but it is necessary you come in as soon as possible.'

'I'm on my way.' I said hanging up the phone.

'What . . .?' Jonghyun started.

'It's the hospital, they said I need to come back in, now.' I said grabbing my keys from the table.

'Do you want me to come?' He said standing up with me.

'No no, I'll call you when I know what's going on.' I told him. I raced to my car and then raced to the hospital as fast as I could.

It was a long few minutes' drive. I parked haphazardly and ran into the hospital down each corridor to Jen's room to find out what happened.

When I reached the corridor there was the doctor, and nurses outside her room door.

'What happened?' I asked panting as I reached them.

'Mr Lee, maybe you need to sit down.' Started the doctor kindly.

'No. Just tell me please, what's happened.' I begged.

They exchanged glances and the nurses left leaving me alone looking into the eyes of the doctor.

'When Jen came in, we tested her for everything, and all her tests came back negative, however there are false negatives at times. It turns out, she was pregnant when she came in, we guess maybe 6-10 weeks.'

I wasn't hearing this. She was pregnant when she came in. My girlfriend is pregnant, with my child. My insides were summersaulting. However, a dark cloud of fear came over me, they wouldn't have called me for this.

He paused making sure I was taking in what I was saying.

'She was unaware of the pregnancy, as I am sure you were too. When we stitched her up it was not detected either, I'm sure you remember asking me if she was able to still have children, and I told you confidently she was, the wound was no were near her uterus to cause harm. This evening, she began bleeding quite heavily, and I am afraid to tell you that she has unfortunately lost the baby. We did all we could as soon as we were aware of the bleeding. I'm sorry.' He finished.

In a second the butterflies and excitement I felt at hearing I was going to be a father was taken away from me just as quickly as it had been given to me. I felt winded, unable to breathe. Tears began to form in the corners of my eyes.

I steadied myself. Trying to think rationally.

'Did she, did she lose it because of this? Because of the . . . of the stabbing?' I managed to ask.

The doctor shook his head. 'No, it seems unlikely to us that is the reason why. Sometimes, these things naturally happen, miscarriages do occur for no real reason. We don't think the stress on her body would have helped the situation, however pregnant mothers are sometimes under a huge amount of stress and go on to have perfectly healthy children. We believe this was a natural miscarriage, through no fault.' He gave me a small sad smile.

It was a lot of information to get in a few short minutes. I walked around and ran my fingers through my hair, rubbing the tears threatening to fall out from my eyes.

'How is she?' I asked. 'Can I see her?'

'She's ok now. I think a little shaken up and upset, you seeing her would be an excellent idea.' He said kindly standing aside and allowing me into her room.

I swallowed hard and took a deep breath as I reached for the handle and opened the door.

'Baby?' I said quietly as I walked in, she was laying on her side facing away from the door.

I walked around to face her, and sank down into the chair opposite as I took in her face. She was crying again, her eyes were swollen and red with the effort she had been crying with. It took every ounce of strength I had not to break down and cry with her.

I reached for her face and wiped away a tear that was falling.

'Please don't cry my love.' I whispered, my voice shaking.

She looked me in the eyes, full of heart break and sobbed. I moved as quickly as I could, I got my arm under her shoulders and pulled her close to me as she sobbed and sobbed into my chest.

'Please don't cry, please don't cry.' I repeated in a whisper, holding her as tightly as I could, fighting the urge to cry with her, stray tears escaped my eyes as I rocked her in my arms.

'I... I ... didn't... I didn't... know.' She sobbed into me. Her hands clung to my jacket tightly as she continued to cry in my arms.

'It's ok, it's ok' I tried to reassure her, 'it's not your fault my love, it's not your fault.'

I couldn't help the emotion I was feeling. I was overwhelmed, and trying to be strong, I broke down and sobbed with her, occasionally choking out, 'it's ok, don't cry anymore.'

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