Taemin in real life.

Part 2

The next day I decided to rest in the sunshine. Swim in the pool, read, and listen to the music I wanted to for a change. Around midday the maid bowed her way in asking permission to clean which I allowed happily. Everyone who was working in the villa was held to a confidentiality agreement to not tell anyone who was staying in the villas. If they were found to have brought attention to the guests they were fired. It sounded harsh but this was the life of the rich and the famous.

I thanked the woman very much before she bowed her way out. I always found the nicer you were to the staff working for you, the better they would be at doing what you wanted to. Mainly keeping you or whatever, you were doing a secret. I had a friend who found this out the hard way.

I made sure to be friendly with everyone from the driver, to the security man, to the maid. Tip them well. Not just for my own gain but it was how I was brought up to be. Generous with the people around me. Money didn't really mean anything after all.

I napped throughout the afternoon while it was too hot to be outside. I woke up around 5.30, jumping in the shower, rinsing the swimming pool off me and called for the chef to prepare something for me. I had requested two types of chefs. A special Korean only chef who could provide me with anything I wanted from home, and an Indonesian chef specializing in Indonesian and western cuisine. Tonight though I would have something from home.

I settled on the terrace that looked over the beach watching the sun go down as I was served my favorite Gajamisikhae (spicy fermented flatfish). I listened to some soft music and I flicked through the pages in my tablet while I waited.

I was trying to write my own material for my next album. I had been writing down anything and everything that came into my mind. It was the first time I had been allowed such creative freedom over my own music and I wanted to get it right. I wanted it to convey growth. Maturity and I wanted it to be me through and through. I was having a hard time being inspired though what with being busy and exhausted all the time.

I watched as the sun set and felt very peaceful as a light breeze blew through my faded blue hair. It really was beautiful here, I thought to myself, taking in the swaying palm trees and the vast white perfect beach. I watched in the far distance as someone cleared up chairs and I could hear distant noise from what looked like a restaurant quite a way down the beach. There was almost no one around on my part of the beach. The occasional person walked by but no one looked up into the villa at me. I always enjoyed myself watching the world go by, often wondering what it would be like to be one of those people in the crowd. One of the normal people, someone who's name wasn't instantly recognised in half the world. I envied them. Their normality, their easy lives. All I had known since I was 13 was fame. All I had known was the industry and the work. I didn't know normal. I wished I could meet someone normal. Everyone I knew was either a celebrity, and the majority of those, especially women, were extremely vain and pretentious, or they were very rich in some way or another in which case they thought they owned you.

I felt like all I had were my band members, and close friends in other bands who did the same as me, or my family. It was lonely really. No one tells you it is going to feel so lonely being cut off from talking to anyone you liked in the street or being shoved as fast as possible into a vehicle for fear of you being harmed by a million people who had waited all night to see you walk outside. Ok, maybe not a million people but you get the idea.

I wanted to have a real friend. Someone not connected to the business at all. Someone who had a normal job and a normal life. If I'm honest I wanted a girlfriend. I had never had a serious, honest to god relationship with someone in my life. I was woefully inexperienced with women. I had girlfriends for show, or dates with certain celebrities who got in touch with my managers, but needless to say, nothing ever felt real.

I sighed to myself the wind caressing my face as I laid my head in my crossed arms on the fence and watched as the moon began to shine on the waves lightly lapping at the beach.

No, I'd never meet a normal woman. I was too shy to go up to anyone, and I'd be too scared she would know me. Besides when I did and she found out who I was and what I did (if she didn't know already) she would change. They all would. Money and fame changes people in the worst way possible.

I snapped out of my stupor as my phoned buzzed hard on the table. Reaching out I saw a message from Minho asking how peaceful would it be if he gate crashed my holiday. He was teasing. He knew I would be gutted and irritated at him coming here. Besides I knew he was busy himself. He had gone to visit family and then he was taking them away somewhere in Southern Europe.

I text back playfully: If you gate crash I will not be held responsible for my actions.

He text a silly emoji back and followed up with: Don't fall down the rabbit hole, Alice.