The Virgin Mother ✔

Rain

It was a sad, long rain. It's as if the heavens were crying for the loss of another angel on earth. It seems like everytime I cry, it'll rain. Here I am, no refrain from weeping.

I was sitting beside the watery and misty glass window of my room in the villa.

After a week of his death, I refused to eat. I can't even sleep. I can only blink my eyes and stare outside the window.

Why? Angelo was given to me, bakit binawi agad? Bakit nawala siya agad? He isn't even turning five yet, and his life was taken away.
HINDI PA SIYA TUMATAGAL NG ISANG TAON SA AKIN!

I am so disappointed and mad.. at myself. If only I had known, I could've given lots of time for him. Sana hindi ako nagpakasubsob sa trabaho, sana hindi ako nag-oovertime, sana inappreciate ko yung mga effort na ginagawa ng bata.. pero hindi. Ako pala yung nagkulang. Ako lang. Bakit hindi na lang ako ang nasagasaan?

"AAAAAAA!!" I screamed. I sobbed. So hard, my eyes nearly fell. I went hysterical.

Ang sakit sa mata. Ang sakit sa katawan. Nakakapagod umiyak ng umiyak. Kasi bakit.. wala naman rin akong magagawa hindi ba? Di ko naman kayang buhayin ang bata ulit.

I was so mad, I threw everything my eyes lay upon. Even the snow globe that I gave Angelo. What's the use? He's gone. My baby's gone.

"Rie? Rie, what's happening? Open the door, please." I can't move a muscle. Kahit alam kong nandyan si Ivo, wala.. I can't react. I felt numb, it was late for me to realize that my right foot is bleeding because I stepped on a broken glass. "Rie? Please, open the door. I'm here, talk to me.."

Narinig ko ang pagtunog ng mga susi at nabuksan rin ang pinto ko. Dahan-dahang tinulak ni Ivo. I slowly looked at him. His face is worried yet calm. Naaalala ko sa kanya si Angelo. Angelo has our face, mixed. You can just clearly see that I am his mother, and Ivo's his father.

Pumunta sa akin si Ivo agad ng makita niyang dunudugo ang paa ko. Dali-dali niyang kinuha ang first aid kit na nasa cabinet sa banyo. Binuhat niya ako at pinaupo sa upuan ng dresser ko.

I can only hear him breathing. No scolding, no murmurs.. no words coming from his mouth. He's just there cleaning up my wound.

Pagtapos niya ay niligpit niya ang firat aid kit at nilagay sa pinagkuhaan niya kanina. Bumaba siya at kumuha ng walis at dustpan para tanggalin ang mga bubog na nakakalat. Inayos rin niya ang mga gamit na nagulo at napunta sa lapag.

Natapos niya lahat. Nabalik sa ayos ang kwarto ko ulit. Ilang mga minuto akong walang galaw at nakatingin lang sa sahig. Ramdam ko ang paglapit niya sa akin saka ako inalalayan para ihiga sa kama.

"Love.. I'm still here. You still have me. Your dad will wake up soon. Alam mo ba.. pinakain ko ang mga aso kanina? Si Manong Gil nga pala ang nagbabantay sa daddy mo sa ospital. Si Kyrie at Kiara, makukulit! Ang takaw nga nila eh. Kinausap ko sila kanina.. they told me they were missing you! Ito pa nga sinabi nila.. Awoooo! Aww aww!"

Napatingin ako kay Ivo. I want to smile at him but I just can't. I want him to know how grateful I am to have him by my side. Instead, I wept.
Bumangon ako para yakapin siya. He never failed to make me feel like I'm not alone.. he always made me feel like I'm home.

Noong una, ginusto ko pang mawala si Angelo.. kasi hindi ko naman siya kilala! At malay ko ba kung totoong anak ko siya? Sino bang maniniwalang manggagaling siya sa kwintas ko na nabili ko lang naman sa isang antique shop?

Though Angelo came to me when he was about 4 years old.. he already had a passport, visa, birth certificate, and other valid documents possible.. even a healthcard and insurance.

Lahat.. lahat ng kaya kong ibigay kay Angelo.. binigay ko, kahit assets ko at ibang stocks. Nakapangalan sa kanya. Tapos ito lang?! Mawawala ko lang siya ng dahil sa aksidente? Dahil sa isang lasing na nagmamaneho!

Wala rin namang pakinabang kung kakasuhan ko ang nakabundol kay Angelo kasi namatay rin iyon. Na-autopsy rin ang bangkay at high ito sa methamphetamine.

Isa pa.. Daddy fell into a coma and is still in the hospital. Sabi ng doktor ay dahil raw sa mababang blood sugar level. He hasn't been awake for a week now.
The good thing is, this kind of comatose can be reversible if blood sugar is corrected and in a few days he'll be awake.
But.. how can I tell him that Angelo is gone?

I had no one to blame but myself!!!

Everyday.. it was Ivo I'm with. He's always been there.
Hindi ako nakakapasok ng office.. hindi ko rin nakikita pa ulit ang mga kaibigan ko kahit kinukumusta nila ako o niyayayang lumabas man lang o mag-shopping. I can't even answer their calls kasi ayokong umiyak lang bigla. No one knew about Angelo but me, Ivo, daddy, and Tita Loren.

It was Ivo who took care of me. Even if I feel that I'm already a burden to him.

I'm so.. so sorry, Ivo. Selfish na kung selfish, pero gusto kong sumunod kay Angelo.