HufflepuffHolland's Writing Collection

Love Yourself (Part 1) // Tom Holland

By Hufflepuffholland on Tumblr

Pairings: Tom Holland + Reader (Y/N)

Description: Reader has hit an extremely rough patch: she was just fired and she has just discovered the love she's had for seven years meant nothing. She's just about given up on love, or at least she thinks she has.

Warnings: Strong language (curse words)

-

"You're firing me?" I looked at Gary in despair, this wasn't what I was expecting on a day that already started off shitty.

"I'm sorry, we just don't need the extra hands right now."

"You just hired a new seventeen year old!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up in exaggeration, trying to understand how any of this made sense. He shrugged at me causing me to gawk at him, "I've been working here since I was fifteen! That's seven years! This girl has been working here for, like, seven minutes, and you're firing me?"

"I don't know what else to tell you, (Y/N)."

I slowly nodded as I removed my apron, placing it on the rack with the other employees'. I walked toward the door, wanting to leave quietly until it hit me that I had to go back to the apartment where Jeff was, where we had just fought. I turned on my heels and looked at the counter at all the different display cones we had on the counters. I looked at the younger employee that replaced me and my anger got the best of me. I reached out and dragged my arms on top of the counter, knocking everything off of it in the process. Not believing what I had just did I made a beeline for the door, hearing Gary yell from inside.

I rummaged through my bag, sighing heavily as I realized I left the keys to Jeff's apartment inside. I knocked on the door, hoping he was still home. I had seen his car in his parking place, so I prayed he hadn't gone anywhere with a friend. My prayers were answered when he opened the door, shock written on his face. He wasn't used to seeing me home so early.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing here?"

"I was fired, and it was really embarrassing and shitty, so I'd like to not revisit our argument right now, if that's alright. I want to just lay down for a minute." He continued to block the door, making me grow agitated. "Jeff? Come on, let me in. I promise we'll talk later."

"Babe, I invited a few guys over, and it's really loud. Wouldn't you want to be somewhere quiet? Why don't you go over to Ivy's and have a girl's night?"

"Because I want to be in my own bed. Plus, there aren't any cars out in the street that I recognize. Who's here?" He hesitated, not responding and looking away from me. I heard a thump from the other side of the door, prompting me to just push it open, Jeff tumbling with it to the side allowing me to see another woman trying to slip on her shoes while wearing one of Jeff's shirts. I laughed with no humor a little and directed my gaze toward Jeff.

"(Y/N), I could explain-."

"Are you fucking kidding me? In our apartment? God, you asshole! This is fan-fucking-tastic!"

"Babe, I can explain-."

"Don't bother. I'll be back for my shit another day."

"(Y/N), I'm sorry."

"Six years, Jeff. You're all I have had for six years and you couldn't give me the same peace of mind?"

"(Y/N)!" I didn't look back as I made my way toward the elevator, waiting for it to open. As soon as it did and I was about to step in I heard Jeff one last time, "We can still be friends!" I scoffed before flipping my finger toward him and stepping into the elevator.

"Go fuck yourself!"

I got in my car, the weight of everything that had just happened hitting me before I was able to get on the freeway. I slowed my car to a stop on the side of the road, cutting the engine and allowing myself a few minutes of self-pity. I cried about how stupid I was to think that after six years of no real commitment, that I was surprised Jeff wouldn't do what I had just caught him doing, I'm surprised I hadn't caught it earlier than this. I thought about what I was going to do for money, distraught on how easy it was for Gary to just cut me off completely after he referred to his staff as "family".

I looked at myself through my mirrors and saw nothing but a mess instead of my own reflection. This wasn't me, no. There was another woman looking at me, I couldn't recognize myself. I tried my best to wipe the small amount of my shitty "waterproof" mascara off from under my eyes as I pulled out my cell phone.
"Ivy? Can I come over?"

-

"God, how could I have been so fucking stupid?" I paced back and forth in front of my bed, Ivy looking at me sympathetically as I tried to collect myself and the mess I had made of my emotions.

"You aren't stupid."

"Then what do you call it?"

"You were in love."

I scoffed before tossing myself onto my temporary bed. Ivy, being the best friend that she is, allowed me to stay in her now guest room, which used to be my room before I moved in with Jeff. We were both thankful that her parents had passed down their house to her instead of selling it, giving her the option of living in a house she knew rather than a shabby apartment on a teacher's salary. "That was not love. And, fuck, if it was I never want to fall in love again." She gave me a pointed look and I sighed again, "Ok, that's not true. But, I refuse to believe that what Jeff and I had was love or at least what love is supposed to be. So, I stand by my first question, how could I have been so fucking stupid?"

"Well, that's life. It's not all they promise you it'll be."

"That's for fucking sure," I muttered.

It was quiet for a while before Ivy reached into her drawer and handed me a key. "You can always have your old room back. I miss having you as a roommate." I grabbed the key and hugged her, feeling a sense of love that I hadn't felt for almost two years.

I grabbed my jacket off of the desk that was against the way by the door before grabbing my keys and heading for the door, "You know what love is?" Ivy looked at me with a shrug and I tossed her jacket toward her before answering, "Love, my dear Ivy, is you and me getting super fucked up tonight."

"Yes!" She shot up off of my bed before dashing out the door ahead of me, chanting very loudly, "Alcohol! Alcohol!"

-

"So," Stephen looked at us with his glass up to clink with ours in a toast, "what's the occasion?"

I looked to Ivy who stared at her phone with a pained expression, probably hoping for a reply from her now ex-boyfriend. I frowned at her, knowing she hadn't really had any luck with love, ever. I then heard a sob break out from behind me, seeing a couple of girls comforting one of their friends, who was placed in the middle of the group hug. Seeing her prompted me to turn and look at everyone else in the almost thirty seven year old, run-down bar we were in. Almost everyone in this god forsaken place looked miserable, heartbroken. And that's when I came to the conclusion: love fucking sucks.

I turned my attention back to my other newly single friend, raising my glass to his while nudging Ivy back to reality causing her to smile at me and raise her cup to us, too. "Here's to love," I paused, trying to think of the right words, "let it rest in hell where it belongs!"

"Cheers!"

"Amen!"